jordan freeney

“Hi my names Jordan, I hate Piers Morgan”- Rizzle Kicks

[🕷️ CISF 🇮🇩 @GolesDoSantaFe]

Me dijo "desnudate" y yo le mostré este video del cucho Hernández peleando por el balón en el momento más tenso del partido. Me puse a llorar y ella se burló. Quería ver la desnudez de mi cuerpo; yo, tonto, le mostré la desnudez de mi alma.

[el pendejo 🇨🇺 @danker_hank]

Good, that's what I was going for.

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Publisher: So you've given us a book about a big friendly giant, one about an enormous crocodile, and another where a granny grows as big as a house. What's new?
Roald Dahl: There's this peach...
Publisher: Is it -
Roald Dahl: It's fucking huge

[Dina @Anfieldina_]

One of these days I’ll wake up to see Netanyahu dead and Slot sacked and it will be the happiest day of my life

[Fionn Swissteža 🇨🇭 @fionnviteza]

SNIFFING LEGAL BEAK WITH MAXINE PEAKE & THOSE WHO ASYLUM SEEK

[Philip Proudfoot @PhilipProudfoot]

EXCL: Zack Polanski overheard on a train shouting loudly into his phone, “Hannah Spencer. No Surrender. A four-day week and a 3-day bender!”

[ravn @mfnravn]

*seductively takes off glasses*
damn baby you’re so fucking blurry

[kramerica industries @hepimp]

agreed…slow moving old people are the scourge of this great country.

[Danny Wardle @maximalworm]

single shot espresso?

[Michael B. Sparrow @RealSparrrowboy]

Fake dark wokes when it’s time to actually be dark woke

[≧∀≦ @laeswrld]

fake “death to all nazis” when a real nazi hater walks in

[no @zedonarrival]

christening him with a yugioh divine beast card name and i’m supposed to quake

[Marcus is Fighting @CosmonautMarcus]

Contender for best post of all time idc

[00711071visionnaire @lightspeedchamp]

yo this video is frying me