Jordon Beaven

The best moment of my day: walking in the door to see the smiling faces of my children running to greet me.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Hey @KraftHeinzCo , why not make #potatochips ? first flavour, @kraftmacncheese chips. Second flavour, heinz #ketchupchips

#yourewelcome

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

For every million lives seatbelts save, I'm sure you can find 15 or 20 ppl that were harmed by them more than they would have been without. Only an idiot would think this constitutes evidence that seatbelts are bad.
Same goes for #vaccines and the morons that think they are bad.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Coming soon: Scotty Bowman to be stripped of Stanley Cup rings for being mean to someone once. #cancelculture #metoomuch

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

I was just using "you people"
#toosoon?

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@TimHortons if you don't slow down the speed of your toaster and actually toast my bagel, I will go to @McDonalds @AWCanada @greatCDNbagel

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@JohnHimpe What, exactly, had to be confirmed? His religion? The act alone is confirmation.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@Mark22Taylor @RobinHDunlop @URJschool You mean 2 say you r a liberal arts prof at u of r and think this is ok? Now we know where media learns this crap #bigsurprise

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@SLangeneggerCBC @tammyrobert What do u thnk we should do? Let's try 2 make r criticism constructive. Then it can achieve smthng. And i believe this is an important topic

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@Dell i bought so many computers from u. after last dell update, win10 is messed up and your support wants $ to help cuz pc is over 1yr old

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Hey @Shell_Canada why don't you fix the carwash on 51st St E in Saskatoon. The undercarriage wash has been messed up for over a month now.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Hey @JustinTrudeau , if the toque fits, wear it lol
#shithead #skpoli #fb #nicehairbut

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

@vaaaaaalawee you a racist, girl.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

I asked my 4 yr old daughter what this sign means. Her answer:
"Bye bye! You're sinking!"

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Well, #Alberta how does it feel to wake up with a hangover, and realize that #gingerchick is still in your bed?
#ndphangover #albertavote

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

I hear @Ford is making cars that force you to obey the speed limit, and I'm like #fuckyoucommunists

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

This just in: @aplusk will be replacing @JeremyClarkson on #TopGear

#dejavu
#SeemsLegit

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Hey @kevinolearytv you are a real piece of shit. "Don't cry, be a man"? You are what is wrong with manhood today. Dinosaur.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Saying "I'm sorry" is the same thing as saying "I apologize".
Except at a funeral.

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

Hey @JohnGormleyLive lets ditch the handshake in favour of japanese style bowing!

[Jordon Beaven @JordonBeaven]

"@stargatedude: @KatiePavlich pailn is a dummy" you misspelled Palin. #justsayin