bjorn

I think I’m funny. that’s all that matters.

[bjorn @josalonek]

I will watch a video of someone’s kitchen for 3 minutes, just to see a water bottle get knocked off the counter.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Imagine Heely’s being popular now that we’re adults. I can think of no better way to spend my money/time

[bjorn @josalonek]

@dstynski You don’t send me anything 😂

[bjorn @josalonek]

Do you think any of my friends will catch on to the fact that I don’t check my tik tok notifications? 46 messages and mentions later I still ain’t gonna open any of ‘em

[bjorn @josalonek]

My weekend routine consists of sitting around the house until my roommate and bf get bored of it and leave to find their own things to do. Then I can finally come to life with the alone time and get things done 🙃

[bjorn @josalonek]

@PointsBetUSA @brandan_stynski

[bjorn @josalonek]

Are there such things as nanny’s for adults? I want one.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Anyone remember the Pipe Dream game on ur families desktop computer. Slapped. Need iOS equivalent please.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Do you think I can get chat roulette on my fire stick

[bjorn @josalonek]

I hate brown. I hate blue. I hate violet skies. I hate purple. I wanna hurt you. I hate everything you like.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Why is it that you don’t know you want a pickle till you smell a pickle.

[bjorn @josalonek]

If I had a dollar for every mother that’s thought their kid was special for wearing 9 month clothes at 6 months old I could go to space with Bezos.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Spent an hour of my life on a patio table cover so I don’t have to keep wiping it off. Spent another hour of my life on bocce ball. What a weird way to look at prices 😅😅

[bjorn @josalonek]

Ordered @jimmyjohns last night at 9:11pm and it has yet to be delivered or even made

[bjorn @josalonek]

I have a PHD in planning everything wrong when I’m put in a ‘planning’ position. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[bjorn @josalonek]

*sigh* if only side salads were cheaper than fries.

[bjorn @josalonek]

Get yourself some friends that create a Google doc to help price your OF requests 😂😂😂😂😂

[bjorn @josalonek]

Ex bf thought OF is stupid cuz I’m “showing myself to random people”.

To those random people: enjoy and join the party! Or judge and be bitter. Whichever you please.

Link in bio 😈(and sorry mom, just flauntin what u gave me 💕).

[bjorn @josalonek]

Take me back to when I could still get a good buzz after I got off work at 11 😭.

[bjorn @josalonek]

When Grandpa babysits...