Whitenoise

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Finding a hole in the wall seems to be the big thing these days. Here's mine. Still don't know what the big deal is. #holeinthewall #greatfind

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Dr. Disaster #22
Me: That's the last time I go to that female proctologist
Buddy: I thought you preferred female proctologists because of their smaller fingers.
Me: Found out the hard way she had a 4 carat wedding ring
#prostate #ProstateCancer #gettested

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Coworker: How come there are all these heart shaped balloons?
Me (knows that he has a gf): Wow, you really F'd up today
#ValentinesDay #doghouse #soontobesingle

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

One of my best flights. Pigs in a Blanket, Hush Puppies, hot dogs, homemade focaccia and chicken wings from San Tung
#bringyourownfood #santung

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Something for everyone. Filmmakers, choreographers and of course, Journey fans

https://t.co/58cwaiycHR

#postmodernjukebox #onetake #Journey

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

In first class there was a little old lady with her back to me trying to put her bag in the overhead bin. She is so short it's impossible. I go to help and she says, "Thank you". I recognize the voice and when I look down, it's Betty White!
#mycelebstory #BettyWhite

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Dating Disaster #27
Waiting for you is like being at the DMV
#datingdisaster #dating

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

A mortician answers questions

Happy Halloween!
https://t.co/6uiCdZm1Bc
#Halloween #mortician #funeral

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

This is the type of ads I'm now getting. FML
#gettingold #notreadytogo #already?

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Starting to think that wasn't lactose free milk
#lactoseintolerance #rumblyinmytummy #theruns

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Post lockdown Leaving the House Checklist:

Keys? Check
Phone? Check
Pants? ... Check

#lockdownclothes #lockdown #pajamas4evr

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

It's been long and hard but things are starting to look up
#jnj #vaccine #mindinthegutter

https://t.co/KDW5J0vsPb

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Mom: Can you put your picture on your phone so I know it's you when you call?
Me: Ok (tap, tap, tap)
Mom: OMG!! You're so fat! Use an older picture!
#covidweight #nofilter #mom

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

GF: I was wrong when I said you had a double chin.
Me: Thank you
GF: It's a triple chin
#ouch #zing #gf

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Might as well pardon Charles Manson while you're at it.
#PresidentialPardons #Pardons

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Had my first Covid test. The initial insertions were painful but I got used to it. The doctor insisted on constant and repeated testing. Question: for my next test, does it also have to be done anally?
#coronavirus #testing #COVID19

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Finally, they will look up to you with their big, innocent eyes and ask, “Did you protest? Did you fight racism, too?”

What will you say?

#BLM

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

Then they’ll say, “My teacher said there were also riots and that the police were beating up black people.”
“Why were the police beating them up? Were they beating up bad guys?”
“My teacher said the whole world was protesting!”

What will you say?

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

When we are old and grey, imagine our grandchildren running up to our laps.
“Grandpa, grandpa tell us a story!”
“Which one?” you ask.
“The Pandemic! Tell us the one about the Pandemic!” they’ll yell.

What will you say?

[Whitenoise @josephua88]

100,00 dead Americans. Hope you had a good golf game.

#MemorialDay