Jose jose

That 1 guy...only me.
Perfection not my ambition but being real is al l want.

[MrBlack™ @KE_MrBlack]

Gynaecologists giving you privacy to undress is the most pointless professional courtesy😂

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@ReezaySA Psg 0 - 1 Arsenal

[GISTE @ggiste]

You dream of getting a job that pays Ksh 30k.

Ukianza ku-earn iyo 30k, unaanza kusema:

“Aki God, nikipata tu 50k, maisha yangu imeomoka. Nitakuwa na soft life proper.”

Then miracle happens. Unaanza kupata 50k.

Sasa hapo ndio pressure mpya inaanza.

Unaona fare ni ya watu wa struggle. Unaanza kuangalia Demio kwa TikTok na kusema:

“Aki nikipata tu 100k, maisha yangu sasa itakuwa sorted kabisa.”

Boom. Salary inaingia 100k.

Unaenda bank kama motivational speaker. Unachukua loan. Demio inanukia kwa parking. Sasa shida ndio inaanza officially.

Una-realize nyumba mingi Kawangware, Zimmerman na Kibera parking ni “park at your own risk.”

Rent inapanda juu juu juu juu juu juu kuliko inflation ya Kenya.

Lifestyle nayo inaanza kujiendesha kama serikali mpya. Expenses zinaongezeka daily bila notice.

Sasa unasema:

“Aki ya nani, nikianza kupata 150k, mimi natafuta bibi, watoto wawili, na peace of mind.”

God akiwa na sense of humour anakupatia 150k.

Unapata family.
School fees.
Rent.
Fuel.
Service ya gari.
Shopping ya mtoto yenye receipt inakaa title deed.
Na wife anaonyesha nyumba za TikTok zenye curtains pekee ni salary yako ya mwezi mmoja.

End month unakaa accountant wa suffering.

Ukilipa kila kitu, unajipata ukisema:

“M-Shwari nifungulie hata 2k tu nijitoe hapa.”
“Tala my friend don’t embarrass me.”
“Fuliza ndio pillar of this economy.”

That’s when you discover life ni rat race.

Ukiearn kidogo, unastruggle kuongeza salary.
Ukiearn mingi, unastruggle kulinda lifestyle.

Maisha haina mwisho ya kusema “sasa nimetulia.”

So find balance.
Celebrate small wins.
Kula mutura bila pressure.
Tembea kidogo.
Cheka na marafiki.
Na ukumbuke…

Watu wengi wanaonekana rich outside but internally wanapigana na due date kama Avengers Endgame.

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@ObaDeleke 25+20+40+15= 100

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@Norma5387953815 1355

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@kindlymizz1738 @astucefx @grok Eish bossi unadai @grok aweke urus ndani ya hoteli😅

[Patrick's AIBuzzNews @AIBuzzNews]

I deleted my entire digital footprint.

You can too.

Here's how I did it:

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@Aisaka_lunah Oraimo

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@Noseyi_noVibez 20

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@dekim_Kalvino Ressuscitar

[Ọmọ Akin @GuyMr0]

– buy fake airpods from igbo man
– buy original airpods from amazon
– return the fake airpods to amazon
– get refund and repeat after a week

No be everything school go teach you 🧏‍♂️

[Jayden™ @SirGlavan_]

Hata unaezapata Mudavadi na wetangula walijoin Ruto juu ya kuku zake😂

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

Hello @grok list all the X accounts that does not follow me back.

[Eric @amerix]

Men,

I want to unequivocally tell the state that,

A MAN is the pillar of a family,

- and a family is the foundation of society,

If you abduct, injure or kill one man, you have stained society.

Listen to men, they are talking to you.

Respect men's lives!

SATURDAY ASSEMBLY

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

he got a point…

[Frank J. Fleming @IMAO_]

Twitter needs a button that's "bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed."

[Lusibalukhulu 🖍 @feziledhlamini_]

💀

[Kavuli M. Bernard, FCH @BernardKavuli]

This KENYAN should be given a NOBEL prize. He has COMPILED all Ruto's LIES in a 4-minute.clip. Let's make this video TREND internationally!

[Okiya Omtatah Okoiti-Commentary @RealOmtatah]

The woman has been found.

Dorothy Kitazi

The police must now move swiftly and arrest this woman.

Retweet widely. Disrupting public participation, causing chaos, and assaulting Morara is crossing the line!

[Jose jose @Josethuo]

@jayrenmoonlight Missed call.