Joselyne Gonzalez

ChemE lab nerd. I love opera, I hate rats and wear fancy shoes.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

I mean, I'm an asshole, no doubt. But goddamn, these NJHS parents make it sound like we gave birth to a crate of Stephen Hawkings. Calm down buddy, we made sure they finished their homework on time.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

At the National Junior Honor Society induction ceremony. I'm early ofc listening to the other inductees' parents. Am I this pretentious?!

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

@KRyanoutloud Hahahaha! I was shocked that I didn't!

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Oh please god don't let me shit on the poor lady who's only trying to make my hoo-ha hairless, I promise no to curse at the fucking awful drivers in my city anymore.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Oh lord, why do you test me.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Time to grab my underpants and head to he nearest restroom.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

If this poor woman gets shat on I'm only blaming the patriarchy. There I said it.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

She's noticed that I'm anxious. She's hurrying up.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

I may need to fart, at the very least.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

If I shit on this lady's face I'm going to kill myself.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Fuck. I need to poop. Hurry up with the waxing ma'am!

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

She just asked if I had any plans for the weekend. Uh, yes, this is why I'm here lady.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

She's done. She's asking about my day. I'm quiet.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Briefly back on twitter because I'm just awkwardly waiting for the lady, who's supposed to give me a Brazilian wax, to get off the phone. I'm pantsless.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Briefly back on Twitter to let everyone know that traffic still sucks and I'm still full of rage. Just in case anyone forgot.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

In regards to Green Book, I don't know why Spike Lee gets to be such an elitist snob, he ain't done shit. -Me (a mother of 3 who watches Paw Patrol, and pops out kids)
#greenbook #spikelee #Oscars2019

[Bryan in Houston @bmwuk]

Me: let's roleplay
Wife: what?
Me: I'm the customs agent and you need water at your Fyre festival.
Wife: you're disgusting

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

@vidlop01 Zéplñ0LLI

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

@teridrink Hahahaha!!! I get you.

[Joselyne Gonzalez @joseynosy]

Only here because Facebook is down. Nice to see you again, weirdos. #facebookdown