Josh Mohawk

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Dude, think about it... the 3rd Reich lasted more than twice as long as the Confederacy... you don’t see a bunch of Germans flying the swastika and claiming it as part of their heritage, do you?

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@sunshine222blue @fesshole Newsflash: overweight people are not as attractive as people of a healthy weight. Why? Because being overweight is unhealthy. Being unhealthy makes you look older, and less attractive.

Take the fucking win. Be happy and proud of your hard work and accomplishment and improvement

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole This is just an example of people bitching that they don’t always hear what they want to hear. People don’t want the truth, they just want to be told they’re amazing no matter what.

If you thought you carried the extra weight well, then why the fuck did you decide to lose it?

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Dear @Verizon,

How are you able to justify charging me for a phone I have never received and a line that I have never used? Especially considering the fact that I have made several attempts to get you to fix your mistake, and you’ve ignored them?

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole I bet she’s hoping the same thing. Can’t even imagine how much fun having a drama queen like you around would be.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole Please please please tell me you put that can back with the rest of the snacks afterwards.
Please.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Apparently, there are no important issues in Florida that need to be addressed. Why else would Governor DickSantis be wasting time signing unnecessary laws that take away investor’s rights to let environmental concerns factor into their decision making process?

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole If someone is rude enough to jiggle the handle of a clearly occupied stall while I’m trying to do my business, I intentionally take twice as long.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Soccer is a cult.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole I never use twitter.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole Anyone who spends time outside and knows anything about wildlife knows what scat is. You don’t need a background in porn to know that word.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

@fesshole You’ve never once encountered a broken egg? Ok. Sure.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

I consider the ads from #chime saying they offer up to $200 in Spot Me overdraft to be false advertising. They say you need a regular direct deposit of at least $200, which I have had for years, and they still have never increased mine past $40. I call BS.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

DO NOT USE @priceline OVER THE PHONE! They booked us the wrong sized room and refused to refund us for their mistake

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

For the past year, I have been the answer to life, the universe, and everything. But, I didn’t make that connection until today, the first day that it is no longer true. Today, I’m no longer 42, and a great opportunity to make my children roll their eyes has been squandered.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Pretty sure the universe knew my alarm was set for 8:30am, and that’s why I got 8 texts from 3 different numbers between 8:24 and 8:26.

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Agree to Disagree (A heated discussion with my 3 year old about her toy ... https://t.co/PU2eAlMhts via @YouTube

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

https://t.co/Ig1pK1fUH3

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

Then, from that sum, the cult member just has to subtract most of their personal net worth and all of their self respect. And that’s how you come up with a solution of “cult”. (2/2)

[Josh Mohawk @josh_mohawk]

The #secret #formula used by most #cult leaders is this: manipulation over time, multiplied by a factor of feigned personal interested, and then adding the product of that to a selection of cheap parlor tricks (to create the illusion of some kind of deeper wisdom). (1/2)