joshbutt

eat Ⓥ

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

You can't spell progress without ogres

[Griffin @sensortld]

Alex stopped to help save a gunshot victim from bleeding out, he was then given Saint Paul Police Chiefs Award for Valor. He then gave this small speech.

(video from @/onsitepublicmedia ig)

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Nothing is different in hell except you can only drink Mountain Dew Code Red

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Joe Biden is going to drink a gallon of gas on live TV to signify that gas prices are fine

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

I think we've all latched on to wordle because it's the only thing that changes from day to day

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Machine Gun Fox is easily the best celebrity couple name

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Got a covid booster and a flu shot at the same time. Feeling like a coke freestyle machine

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Googled "Helen Keller's hobbies" because my power is out and idk what to do until it comes back

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

I just talked to the guy from the drive thru. He said you're the only person who orders that. He said your order is fucked up and they thought it was a prank

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Do you shake or lick the tip off when you're done pumping gas

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

You fool! You watched the pot! Now it will never boil!

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Where were you when you found out Ted Cruz wasn't the zodiac killer?

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

I heard Zuckerberg was grounded so his mom took Facebook away

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

*awkward silence during a team meeting*
me: so... do you think OJ did it?

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

@JucheMane Socialism is when everyone gets the joke

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Weather in India must be crazy

[The Weather Channel India @weatherindia]

A mega #comet — one so humongous, it was previously misidentified as a dwarf planet! — is approaching our solar system!

Read: https://t.co/AjIgidVcV1

📸: NOIRLab/NSF/AURA/J. da Silva (Spaceengine)

Thread! 👇

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

We're under a tornado watch and I hear sirens in the distance. They must be arresting it

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

Are people saying these are unpresidented times because of the whole "not my president" thing?

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

There is no difference between pet toys and baby toys

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

I miss the good old days when all I had to worry about was a boat stuck in a canal and one kind of covid

[joshbutt @joshbutt12]

How I feel when I tweet