Joshua Michael Cheek

Bearded

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell Favorite use of the Wilhelm Scream?

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell @ThePeterPaige There are way worse dreams to be had.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell Awwww, Jamie! I disagree! You’re not that fat.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@RealCandaceO @DonaldJTrumpJr My mother is dying alone in a hospital bed from Covid and there’s nothing that I can do to help her except hate people like you more. Fuck you, you reality-denying, self-serving ass.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell That time that I played the lead in our sixth grade choir production of The Music Man.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

Hey. Will you fucking assholes please use your goddamn turn signals? Thanks, everyone.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

Listening to Dylan on random and Hurricane comes on. I feel like I could go watch the movie version, do my taxes, grocery shop for the week, come back, and that song would still be going.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@gnuman1979 When we got in the car to go to the hospital, it wasn’t crazy like in sitcoms. But I still calmly, and loudly, put on Yakity Sax before pulling away, just to chaos the mood. That’s the closest I came to this.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell Y tho? I have a Latvian friend who equates the CCCP with Nazis for what USSR did to his family. An Estonian friend talks about only being able to buy dairy on Tues & his family forced to upgrade farming euipment at their own cost so that they produce faster for the government.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

Be advised that if we are texting and you end any sentence in ‘lmao’ I will automatically pronounce that in my head as if you are an emotionless French cat.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@kurtdef HA!

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

How do you respond to a curious five-year-old when they ask questions like “What do llamas know?”

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

If this quarantine has cemented any idea in my head, it’s that teachers deserve to be paid a million dollars a week. Mainly just my kid’s teachers, I don’t know about the rest.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

After finally watching the Star Wars Holiday Special I can understand why people would want to watch ‘Cats’. They obviously just needed to get this foul taste out of their mouths.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

The promise of going to the movie theatre can be used in positive ways. Or you can threaten your misbehaving child with taking them to see ‘Cats’.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

@jamiegambell I hate you.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

The biggest shame of my generation should be that my children will grow up in a world where there are annoying scooters fucking everywhere.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

According to my six-year-old, Kylo Ren ‘seems grumpy’.

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

My kids can successfully point out the Wilhelm Scream in each episode of Star Wars so I guess that makes me a good parent...?

[Joshua Michael Cheek @joshcheek]

It takes a special type of asshole to spit their gum into a urinal.