Josh Hawks

get at me

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

@jesskbrownn cool Jess. Make fun of the less fortunate. Shame on you.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

I spend a lot of time waiting to be hungry again.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

I don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better. That shows a lack of ambition. Which is why men are better.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

Having sex with your ex on a Thursday ain't cheating, it's a throwback.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

It's weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that doesn't even know how to hold a pencil.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

Ain't that the truth

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

A lot of people died for us to know which fruits we can and cannot eat.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

My grandma talks a lot of shit for someone who falls down so easily.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

10,000 years ago people didn't even know what a wheel was and they could still draw better horses than me.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

If you didn't want me to get your 3 year old nunchucks for his birthday then you should have put "no badass gifts" on the invite.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

@BIGKOUNTRY561 winner winner chicken dinner

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

I think we all know how Kim Kardashian likes her coffee.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

To my future wife.... When I die I want u to mix my ashes In a bowl of chili, then eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

I've probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

Soulja boys trash now but I'm not gonna act like I never cranked that superman.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

Ever notice that ur asshole looks tan even tho it never sees sunlight ?

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

My dogs have no idea that whales exist

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

Iggy Azalea makes music for white girls who like black guys but are too scared to tell their dad.

[Josh Hawks @joshhawksss]

If u don't stop sending me FarmVille requests I'm calling the police.