joshua holtgreive

leave the gun, take the cannolis. Phish.

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

@spinnybets @rudygobert27 How long have you been holding on to this one?

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

@DouglasRJReiser “The fuck this come from?” Anthony Bourdain probably

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

@MarcMissey @DouglasRJReiser Is taffy stretched or pulled? Or both?

[Steve Lacy @StevenLacy]

In 1989, if I asked you which of these bands would play 17 shows at Madison Square Garden in 2017 you wouldnt believe the answer in a million years.

[Bradford Pearson @BradfordPearson]

It’s really far down on the list of concerns, but folks I think we’ve all tasted our last free sample.

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

Presidential platform #3: I will create an over explainers prison. You give me too many details and it’s straight to the hoosegow.

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

@RobertMcclimans @CityEMA You are undrunk

[fka sids @yungsids]

stranger at the library: can you watch my stuff?
me:

[win ben stein's;gate @weedhitter]

is there a mr. paint

[joshua holtgreive @JoshHoltgreive]

@DouglasRJReiser I imagine Idahoans(?) biting into raw unwashed potatoes like there’s a famine.

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

Rogan is not skeptical of transgender expression he’s concerned with transgender fighters with biological advantages pummeling women in combat sports lol. I mean imagine this being a controversial position. Man we’re fuuuuuuuuuucked.

[Rad Dad @TheRadDad_]

Nobody:

Dads trying on new shoes:

[shosh @shoshmcgosh]

one time i was my college’s mascot for a basketball game.

emphasis on one time

[middleclassfancy @midclassfancy]

Facebook moms when they say Friyay instead of Friday

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

Y'all don't realize what kinda madman you're dealin' with. I'll straight up tell an urban legend in a rural setting.

[David Weigel @daveweigel]

Best books of the decade, ranked:

1-10: The dang Bible