josh montez

hello

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

And just like that, the volcano sauce from Taco Bell, is gone again

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I don’t know why, but sitting in front of a television, endlessly peeling potatoes, and watching lord of the rings all morning, just feels so thanksgiving

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

To the people driving on the road who just saw me housing a gallon of milk whilst in my car, I’m not sorry, my hotel expired today and I wasn’t going to let that same thing happen to the milk

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

09/28/25, Dallas cowboys vs. Green Bay packers, that was one of the best games I’ve ever seen

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I have no idea why, but the sliver of cheese that they cgi on top of the Green Bay packers player’s head who scored a touchdown, is really really upsetting

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I was gonna put something good on television to watch, but then I saw the next movie is called “attack of the killer tomatoes!” How am I supposed to not watch that

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I’ve saved the last season of how I met your mother for ten years, and I finally watch, only to be mentally punched in the temple

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I just found out lobsters are pretty much immortal, but lose the energy to shed over their timeless lives, and basically starve to death in the end, ruined my whole year, and the year just started

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

Just got my very first tsunami warning on my phone, didn’t think I’d see the day

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

TURPINNNN

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

Flight is delayed a billion times, almost completely booked, and I somehow get an entire row to myself, it’s the little things

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

I thought I was well traveled, but my goodness, Kansas City has the nicest airport I’ve ever been to

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

Does amazing own Thursday night football so hard that I can’t even listen to the jets play on the radio?

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

This Dallas game is aging me

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

If nick bosa was running at me like that, I’d throw a pick too, it’s still early #dallas

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

DID WASHINGTON REALLY WIN THAT FOOTBALL GAME, I look away thinking that game is over, you had one job Chicago

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

The jets don’t fire Saleh, they win that game against New England today

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

This is just a reminder to myself to start 2 tight ends on national tight end day from here on out

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

Being hit in the body with a jet of water on high accidentally whilst washing dishes feels like being shot with a laser beam

[josh montez @joshmontezCC]

It might just be me, but every commercial they play during football games now just make what they’re advertising seem evil