Jo Thomas

[𝕐o̴g̴ @Yoda4ever]

Breakfast on the go..🐎🌾😅

[lesby @lesbiankoschei]

quando tu editando no docs e encontra outra pessoa la

[pain @paaiinnnn]

Hot take: We need a website where you post your wildest wishes and rich people with too much money can randomly make them come true

[julie 🥽🧪🧵 @CasquetteGirl]

living in a city with a free zoo that’s easily accessible via public transit means every time I have a free weekend I slide into everyone I know’s dms like

[korah | @Korah26]

ez

[Joanne Brigden TLMN @crankyoldbag]

This is great

[Eve @evek181818]

my psychiatrist: "so I just want to acknowledge before, when you said you were doing nothing with your life - you just earned a master's degree 3 months ago"
me: "yeah but any idiot can get a master's degree"
my psychiatrist (sighing): "no."

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

Do y’all ever think, babies be laughing so hard at simple stuff, but that’s literally the funniest thing they ever seen in their life

[donovan spoon @donovanhitchens]

hello suicide hotline i'd like to request your finest suicide

[Teresa Sheffield @Terfleaza]

Nobody gives Winne The Pooh any credit for inventing the crop top

[blehh @pupzypup]

bird 1: are we safe?
bird 2: yeah he only has one stone

[Roony @Roonysters]

I wish my parents could have added some nepo to the tism they gave me

[devin the practicing bisexual @runDEVINrun]

Wife said she wanted to watch Brother Bear so I bought salmon and cooked some veggies as a side so we could have the full experience

[julia @juumelo_]

date idea I ask you a bunch of really stupid hypothetical questions and you answer them & then we kiss

[Cleo 💫 @cleosmuses]

Losing Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem back-to-back feels like we’re saying goodbye to a whole generation of trailblazers so close to each other.

[Ana @ana_in_tx]

My favorite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can't lose it, and then I never find it again.

[Meba Rackentyre @MebaRackentyre]

I will now be even more of a feminist killjoy in Gloria’s honor

[🦋 @leftunsents]

i wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.