JP

#MovieReviews

[JP @jp_retana]

An outwardly silly, deceptively clever song that isn’t so much about the title character as it is about itself.
#Sk8erBoi #AvrilLavigne #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Review https://t.co/mgIdXr55Jc

[JP @jp_retana]

Like the spite-fueled, vitriol-spewing, wallow in hurt male pride that it is, “Snake in the Grass” doesn’t air specific grievances; it’s just a generic litany of the evil that the “bitch” did.
#SnakeintheGrass #DespisedIcon #Metal #Song #Lyrics #Review https://t.co/SsemwYFWUt

[JP @jp_retana]

“Cherry” is Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” times three plus Type O Negative’s “My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend” minus the testosterone.
#Cherry #HayleyKiyoko #Fletcher #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Review https://t.co/LELK2VUtc7

[JP @jp_retana]

It took seven (7) people to write this song, and none of them knew what a catch-22 is.
#Gold #VictoriaJustice #Pop #Song #Review https://t.co/pLAlumz95n

[JP @jp_retana]

Inveterate blasphemer Glen Benton gets caught unwittingly paying a disservice to his “unholy master” in this otherwise self-explanatorily titled death metal ode to Lucifer.
#HomageforSatan #Deicide #Metal #Song https://t.co/oXBoHU2Xro

[JP @jp_retana]

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is as good a sequel in general and as good a Tim Burton movie in particular as we could have hoped for..
#BeetlejuiceBeetlejuice #MovieReview #Comedy #Horror #Fantasy #Film https://t.co/QgDG92PP0f

[JP @jp_retana]

Although they couldn’t be more different, The Crow picks up right where The Crow: Wicked Prayer left off. How do you follow the self-parody? Why, with the reboot, of course!
#TheCrow #MovieReview #Fantasy #Film https://t.co/N6c5YPufzi

[JP @jp_retana]

The Menendez Brothers is the filmic equivalent of a love letter written by one of those spinsters who end up marrying convicted serial killers.
#TheMenendezBrothers #MovieReview #Documentary #Film https://t.co/Pxf3MREg3Y

[JP @jp_retana]

Wit struggles to strike a balance between the cleverness promised in the title and the realism that the subject matter demands. The end result comes perilously close to being neither fish nor fowl.
#Wit #MovieReview #Drama #Film https://t.co/y8SNADj1w9

[JP @jp_retana]

America 3000 is a misogynistic post-apocalyptic fantasy. It depicts women wielding near-absolute power, but to call that female empowerment is like saying that Schindler’s List is fascist propaganda.
#America3000 #MovieReview #Adventure #Film https://t.co/hBARADzauK

[JP @jp_retana]

The kind of mid-90s thriller where Eric Roberts is “one of those guys who was eating light bulbs and pushing thumb tacks into his kneecaps” and Teri Hatcher goes topless. Real? Yes. Spectacular? Meh.
#HeavensPrisoners #MovieReview #Thriller #Drama #Film https://t.co/gLbcGgcb7b

[JP @jp_retana]

Wolfs [sic] is a hybrid Pulp Fiction/Assassins knockoff. From a slightly different perspective, it is to Pulp Fiction what The Freshman was to The Godfather. Either way, it’s a dumb fucking idea.
#Wolfs #MovieReview #Comedy #Crime #Film https://t.co/gS6g5uZjCb

[JP @jp_retana]

The Second Act is a reflexive, self-aware, metafictional film that pretends to deconstruct its very own medium. It’s also a retarded piece of shit that is stupid in direct proportion to how witty it fancies itself.
#TheSecondAct #MovieReview #Comedy #Film https://t.co/Qu6id6RJfv

[JP @jp_retana]

The Air He Breathes is about a man who falls in love with the widow of the guy who killed his wife and son in a car crash. For some reason, this is presented as a mildly erotic, life-affirming romance.
#TheAirHeBreathes #MovieReview #Romance #Drama #Film https://t.co/3VlPtdflut

[JP @jp_retana]

Omni Loop is a time loop movie with the word ‘loop’ right in the title. They’re really not even trying anymore, are they?
#OmniLoop #MovieReview #Fantasy #Drama #Film https://t.co/rz8SpX6Bsr

[JP @jp_retana]

The Secret Life of a Sorority Girl isn’t all that secret. High school math teacher Cheryl discovers very early on that her 18-year-old daughter is stripping her way through college. How original.
#SecretLifeofaSororityGirl #MovieReview #Thriller #Film https://t.co/KLNCTluipk

[JP @jp_retana]

Love on The Danube: Royal Getaway is yet another modern-day fairytale featuring a monarchy with a vaguely Eastern European-sounding name where people called József speak perfect English.
#LoveonTheDanubeRoyalGetaway #MovieReview #Romance #Comedy #Film https://t.co/kZM3HSEBm0

[JP @jp_retana]

Would be a whole lot more compelling if the Uglies were, you know, ugly. Not necessarily ‘gobble gobble you’re one of us’ ugly, but at the very least Sandra Bernhard-ugly.
#Uglies #MovieReview #SciFi #Fantasy #Film https://t.co/iGcvcNqr6q

[JP @jp_retana]

How smart is Bigfoot? According to Feet of Death, smarter than the average bear. Sadly, the filmmakers ain’t got the good sense God gave a rock (to use a line from their own script).
#FeetofDeath #MovieReview #Horror #Thriller #Film https://t.co/FtAXomJxH9

[JP @jp_retana]

Maybe it’s time to give Southeast Asia a break. Statistically, all its prisons can’t be ruled by an evil warden whose reign of terror is rife with human rights violations.
#TheLockdown #MovieReview #Action #Film https://t.co/JeAomZQZ0Y