James Perry

I usually just unknowingly walk around with my fly down

[James Perry @jper]

Walked up a flight of stairs, had to catch my breath

*tests negative for coronavirius
**tests positive for being a lard ass

[James Perry @jper]

Did that pesky recession ever happen?

[James Perry @jper]

When did people start screaming “lets go” and also how do we make it stop

[James Perry @jper]

@apple @netflix @hulu @DisneyPlus @StreamOnMax Can one of you please make “smart captions.” - only display captions during difficult to understand dialogue, maybe have it float next to faces. I believe in you.

[James Perry @jper]

Anytime someone asks me if I watch #Succession, I just think of all the times I scroll by it to watch Harry Potter

[James Perry @jper]

@FlyFrontier can you clarify you personal item rules? I just had a bizarre experience flying to Orlando (Flight 1175)

Gate agent: “it just has to drop in, you cant push it”

After it did fit w/ a light shove, “nope, it has to just fall in without you touching it”

…uh what?

[James Perry @jper]

@heycar If they asked you to clarify, I think it’d be reasonable if you never interacted with that person again.

[James Perry @jper]

I bet 0 kids die from rainbow fentanyl this Halloween.

[James Perry @jper]

@HOTOraceops 100% wrong

[James Perry @jper]

Fk your feelings but don’t hurt mine

[James Perry @jper]

@staceyabrams you’re a freaking legend. Truly.

[James Perry @jper]

@Acyn Hey @RepMTG students that went to Ivy League schools probably aren’t making less than $125k/year. The relief is meant for those who need it. I think you could argue lowering the income limit, but I think it’s for the greater good.

[James Perry @jper]

Re: student loan relief

A win for you is a win for me

[James Perry @jper]

It’s becoming too real

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

A developer is making this game about a squirrel with a gun where you can also run around and rob people

[James Perry @jper]

@DrOz I feel so sad for you.

[James Perry @jper]

@DrOz @JohnFetterman @DrOz you’re really bad at this.

[James Perry @jper]

@_granataz I’m so excited!!

[John Fetterman @JohnFetterman]

Hey @DrOz 👋

JERSEY loves you + will not forget you!!! 🥰

[James Perry @jper]

@DaveDum Ugh. Damnnnn it. That was good.

[James Perry @jper]

I guess everybody has their own side hustles

[James Perry @jper]

@Apple it’d be nice to be able to link an App to a Reminder to automatically open that App