jp holden

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @BristolBears *** The 12 Apostle ***
You can call him Jimmy or you can call him James,
But in the name of all Saints and those holier,
It defies all credence and is beyond belief,
That you could think to call him plain magnolia.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate Maybe Radwan was good (came from off camera) but Chessum, who ultimately stopped Harry, never got back to an on-side position 😠 ... If I understand the laws correctly!

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate *** Letters and Legends ***
Bears failed to deliver on our red-letter day,
On the night we remembered the fallen and our legends,
But when this game is long forgot and thrown away,
We'll still take learnings from these more profound lessons.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1
*** Exeter Hangover ***

It's a legit plan to kick the ball,
When it's wet and blowing a hoolie.
But when it's dry and the line out fails,
Don't.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @ashtongatestad *** Metamorphoses ***

The Heavens had opened,
Land became sea,
Oh, thank the Lord,
We have a Plan B.

One kick for each pass*,
Jimmy kicks off the tee**,
Oh, my sweet Lord,
Also a Plan C.

-----
* 1.2 : 1
** And kicking to touch

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1

*** Ballad of Gabs ****

The name of an angel,
He was a man possessed.
Sidestepped in no space.
Jackalled with the best.

His smile was infectious,
Spreading pure joy.
Yet no-one can catch
Gabs Ibitoye.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1 You may have worked out that there were stronger alternative to that last line...

And I forgot the poem's title:

*** TMO Review ***

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1

Forwards is forwards,
And backwards is back,
The TMO's on meds,
And enjoying the craic.

So we don't care about Europe,
Do we all agree with those facts?
But if we don't end up Top 4,
What top players can we hope to attract?

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1 Stats of inuries on plastic were raised.
Hips, knees and ankles carrying most weight,
Then Zam's insta post of his shin skin graze,
Squirted WD40 onto an already inflamed debate.

2/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1
*** Anatomy of a Team ***

At the StoneX I had skin in the game,
With Bears in a vein of form that was rich.
So I didn't get the dis-jointed team named.
Missing that the coach's driver was the pitch.

1/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate The incidence of match knee injury was 44% higher on artificial pitches than grass pitches ... with no significant difference in severity between surfaces.

2/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate From a peer-reviewed journal:

"Twenty year analysis of professional men’s rugby union knee injuries from the English premiership shows high rates and burden."
West SW et al, 2024, British Journal of Sports Medicine 58.

1/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@Official_JAH @BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1 Thanks.

Yep, there was a lot of taking the positives from the game in that pod 😁 ... even to the extent of giving some love to the God-awful StoneX.

Although I have to agree with Pete that the Sarries fans/stewards etc are top drawer.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate You were in S11? Probably were Bristolling together then - some good noise from us compared to the orchestrated Sarries efforts (except when they scored, of course 😕)

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

*** Not on Top ***

Heading back from the StoneX cemetery,
A place that could not be any less celebratory,
Pat played roulette with the young guns,
A bad idea at Saracens,
So we got no cake, never mind the cherry.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1
Inspired by (plagiarised from) Mr W Shakespeare (dec'd).

The surviving author reserves all rights to grumpiness. The author is both AI-free and criticism-intolerrant 🤣

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something winning this way comes,
Eyes of newt and toes of frog,
Tis the season we'll be top dog.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate @BristolBears @WillCarpz @james_will24 @batssss05 Like some rugby shirts, the game is in 4 quarters.
Except in the backs, were there are only three-quarters.
(and half backs and a full back)
----
Great pod 👏. Kudos to Pete in the Mixed Zone. A new career awaits?