jp holden

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

Barff as we like to see them - big & quiet,
Will be improved if they stick to their diet.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

So Pete's got his head down to get 2-2-9 out,
As his mind wanders to cricket and the last man he bowled out,
And Miles surveys his Duchy now summer's in the offing,
Thinking about next year's Prem and the size of his coffin.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

It's the end of the season and now we're all done,
Reviewing the Prem and how we might've won,
In the podcast Lee recalls Tainton and tries not to spit,
Meaning the final podcast takes way longer to edit.

1/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

Season unravelled.
But our youngsters showed promise.
There's always next year.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

23 players and they're all EPQ,
But don't tell Boshoff, I don't think he knew,
Batley in the engine room but, no, wait,
He starts in the back row at Number 8!
Thacker's flanker - well, we've seen that before,
But I'm not sure I can watch, or predict the score.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

Our Enforcer leads by example - top carrier, top tackler,
No better English backrower, the Prem's top Jackaller.
Fitz wouldn't flinch with threats like "Hey Punk, make my day",
But in Borthwick's address book he's The Man With No Name

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

Clint Eastwood was known for playing real tough guys,
Watch his films and you'll soon understand why.
But Fitz Harding is tougher, made out of flint,
Plays the full 80 when his hand needs a splint,

1/2

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

The Saints shalacking made our bears' hair bristle,
So a fur-ocious response was needed from Brizzle,
In strutted Barff with all of their money,
But down at the Gate we didn't need to worry,
With Fitz and BV leading ... Operation Epic Furry 🐻

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate

The Lane Train laid-up,
Known for long coast to coast strikes,
Like ASLEF and RMT.

The Lane Train derailed,
Despite reliable points,
Unlike Network Rail.

The Lane Train, shunted,
Will be sorely missed when gone.
Because he's First Class.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate But Miles went early and straight to the point,
(And let's not deny that his life's out of joint)
Catheterising beer to his own brain stem,
To die premature, so we can win the Prem.

3/3

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate Pete perceived different forces in place,
Of multi-dimensional time and space,
Where the Big-D didn't just go AWOL,
But was vaporised in a TMO's black hole.

2/3

[jp holden @jphold]

@watts_mf @OwenMorris1234 @BearsBeyondGate As Bears defence went AWOL,
I couldn't believe my eyes,
A headache beyond paracetamol,
The only cure is to catheterise!

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate
No words.
No poem.

[jp holden @jphold]

@WHOldun1 @funkyhousernb @BearsBeyondGate Dakota will never sound the same again for you 😄

[jp holden @jphold]

@funkyhousernb @BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1 We all know where we are going now etc
... going down the Spotted Cow

----

Not sure it'll catch on mind.

[jp holden @jphold]

@funkyhousernb @BearsBeyondGate @WHOldun1 *** MeBabber ***

Thinking 'bout drinking some booze,
Wearing blue and white hoops,
Yeah, loving those hoops.

Playing lush out on the grass,
No plastic pitch 'cos we're class,
Yeah we are class.

You make it feel like it's fun,
When we peel in the sun,
And we've won.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate So is it a complement or is it not?
But I'll make it clear, Pete, I'm no AI bot.
I can handle the slur of the authorship slight,
But at least read the bloody poems out right!
---
Great pod boys - good balanced chat on Tom Taunton's naïve (insufficiently caveated) comments.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate
A long day out, a trip to the Gate,
Now it's 's 12 am and getting late,
Plenty of time to digest the stats,
Ponder on this, ruminate on that.

[jp holden @jphold]

@BearsBeyondGate
The soothsayer speaks: "The Run-In is always nip and tuck.
And to think it was our Showpiece game where we came unstuck!
But don't worry! We'll still make the play-offs" he says,
And as he stands up to leave he picks up his fez.