theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™

I identify as squirrel. I talk to myself & fart - A LOT. You're free to listen but smelling my farts will cost ya tho. 🥜🐿️
#SquirrelLivesMatter $jpoozey

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Put away those fifis boys! Fresh fish coming soon.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

home is where I want to be
pick me up & turn me round
I feel numb born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
the less we say about it the better
make it up as we go along
feet on the ground head in the sky
it's okay I know nothing's wrong
nothing...

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Men's winter essentials, well ok.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

The items Temu chooses to showcase in their ads continue to amaze me.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

I'm curious what this product is listed as. What would one call this? I'm sure whatever they went with includes a plethora of descriptive yet unnecessary words. It's never simple.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

The items Temu chooses to showcase in their ads continue to amaze me.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

The items Temu chooses to showcase in their ads continue to amaze me.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

BTW I'M STILL NOT IN MY MID 40s, asshole. Ain't your wife pushing 50 by now?

I may be irrelevant but I know your ass is reading this & I'm in rare form today so fuck you.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Premium experience: Your spot is my dance floor & there ain't no parking baby, no parking on this dance floor.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

New hustle: Digging out cars & babysitting parking spots. $5/15mins $20/hr & daily rates available. Custom signs extra.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

New hustle: Digging out cars & babysitting parking spots. $5/15mins $20/hr & daily rates available. Custom signs extra.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Didn't find it, dammit. Maybe I'll get a chance to play with it next time I'm there but I'll probably forget all about it.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Who tf needs a VIOLENT fan? It never cease to amaze me to see shit in the houses I clean. WHY?! Old rich people really will buy anything.

ngl I'm kinda tempted to try it out to see what all the hub bub is about. It's not in the box tho, I gotta keep an eye out for it.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Who tf needs a VIOLENT fan? It never cease to amaze me to see shit in the houses I clean. WHY?! Old rich people really will buy anything.

ngl I'm kinda tempted to try it out to see what all the hub bub is about. It's not in the box tho, I gotta keep an eye out for it.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

https://t.co/16mDVgFMsr

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

These are the only balloons I'll be getting today. I'll probably be the only one to see them too. But at least the sun's out & not freezing cold. The weather has actually blessed me w/a nice day for my birthday.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

He is NOT amused. Whatever dude, go hump Hodor's carrot.

BYE.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Just shook my ass in Kika's face to this.

https://t.co/KEgLmWd1cY

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Just shook my ass in Kika's face to this.

https://t.co/KEgLmWd1cY

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

@label77music I have absolutely no clue wtf is going on here but it doesn't surprise me. Same shit different day... or year tbf since I've been tapped out for awhile. The shenanigans continue. Thanks for the entertainment, perfect timing for my b-day & a reminder not to touch the poop.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Update: my absence wasn't bc this ticket made me a bazillionaire & I was living my best life on some majestic animal filled island. As usual, I didn't win shit & I'm still poor.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Got my Christmas bonus. 😆

I find her choosing one called "Deep Pockets" friggin' hilarious. She's got them deep pockets but ain't ever sharing them w/me.

Maybe I'll win a bajillion doll hairs this year. Oh wait, nvm - I think $500 is the most I could possibly win. Figures.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

Made it to 2026 & only a few more hours to add another year to my life since tomorrow is my birthday. Not much to celebrate tho.

Hope you're all doing well. I passed out while eating graham crackers earlier & woke up covered in them. Curious how long I was left like that.

[theFARTISTformerlyKNOWNas | jpoozey™ @jpoozey]

https://t.co/mwq0hMY4qr