J Worthington

[GCS @GCSRecruitment]

The lecturer completed the tale of the Trojan Horse. You seized the moment. "Sounds like a hollow victory!" The silence still follows you.

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

Throwing a pokeball at your neighbour's cat is probably the last great taboo.

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

I reckon a courgette would beat a cucumber in a fight but, let's face it, bring on a gherkin and they're both going home in an ambulance.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

"@garwboy: Seems appropriate. #happybirthdayJohnVenn." @Meddy_A_

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

MOVIE GOOF #561: In Scarface, when Al Pacino says "Say hello to my little friend", there is no small friend, just a big gun.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

If I heard me making small talk, I'd hate me.

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

A man in marketing has just suggested we make "Keep Calm and Play Poker" tshirts. We have sacked him and filled his house with wasps.

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

My biggest fear is being in the Question Time audience, stretching my arm and David Dimbleby saying "Yes, you with the sad face."

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

No Rio Ferdinand in the England squad. Let's look back at the history of disrespect shown to this man.

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

I can't believe Hodgson hasn't picked a single water based player in his squad! England are out if they face even the weakest fire Pokemon.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

"@ArenaFlowers: Jeremy Paxman: the perfect Easter gift:" @izzywhitaker1 can I get you this instead of an egg?

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

Let me tell you about love. Love is elusive. Love is fragile. Love is a dollop of hot mustard in your eye. Love is a polar bear.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

"Red sky at night, shepherd's delight." http://t.co/FB6h4oxfG0

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

I've missed Futurama http://t.co/dpHYfRhTa7

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

@chandonc @Meddy_A_ show me a man who still misses his pokemon emulator after over a week at 21 and I will show you a failure.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

"@ArenaFlowers: Try the CV writing MASTERCLASS from our EXPERTS:" this is where we've been going wrong @Meddy_A_

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

If you have to take a Buzzfeed quiz to find out which Game of Thrones character you are, you probably aren't a Game of Thrones character.

[Betfair Poker @Betfairpoker]

After years being told it's the most important meal of the day, breakfast is now a deranged egomaniac, won't even speak to lunch or dinner.

[J Worthington @JPWorthington]

I'd forgotten how passively stressful sitting next to strangers on the train is