John Ryan

Writer,Director,Improviser.....friend?

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Netflix really botched this one #TysonPaul

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Netflix definitely needed to invest in a better commentating team and analysts because this is embarrassing #PaulTyson

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

I’d like to make a cry for help, I just don’t think I’d accept it, also don’t wanna put anyone out

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

“Stuck in the middle with you” was playing during my haircut and I told the barber,” if you were ever gonna cut my ear off this would be the song to do it too” he didn’t laugh

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

I wouldn’t care that the chiefs winning if kelce and Mahomes weren’t so unlikable

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

D tackle clutches his eye and squinting, nfl shows replay of him getting poked, Tony Romo “ yup right there you see the injury he rolls the ankle” #AFCChampionship #RavensFlock

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Lesss go RAvenns! #RavensFlock #AFCChampionship

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

You know what would be nice? If ten thousand people just Venmo’d me @jrbee613 a dollar. Doesn’t that sound fun #deadbrokedecember

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

I did not miss these California gas prices

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

My kink is going to jiffy lube and being shamed for not bringing it in like the lil sticker said to

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Theme park life is not popping today

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

@i8athumbtack Married to John Stamos with 16 kids in a shack driving a bird scooter

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Not me over here trying to figure out if I should buy a taco cart

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

I’m DM’ing a session of DND in an hour and a half, time to start preparing

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

No one tells you that when you older you have to Sana Sana your own Colita’s de Rana’s

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

The cleaning staff were outside my room and I heard one of them say it smells like a Walmart candle near my door, um excuse you it’s pumpkin brûlée by opal house from target

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

I just back handed a fly, I think that spider bite had a lil something extra in it

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

Well shiiiet I just might be moving to New York

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

These companies need to stop requiring the diverse people to attend the diversity training. We were already taught to treat people right by our mamas

[John Ryan @jrbee613]

The guy I just delivered door dash to said be safe out there and I said you too, and I now I feel like I threatened him