Jess Budin

Screenwriter-ish. Can be found consuming media, having opinions, getting head-spins from standing up too fast and considering a Thelma and Louise style escape

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Just entered this @MattBerninger contest! Enter here: https://t.co/2mrBnFEYrZ

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Me in a social situation: Hey, you know how they have those name place filters on Instagram, like New York and Paris? They should have one called Wuhan so you can look fully sick ... (this was about 3 weeks ago when it was okay to laugh at this kinda) #terriblehuman

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Whilst out for breakfast, my boyfriend commented on the amount of sauce on his pulled pork Benedict dish. My brain immediately thinks “Hey, sing the phrase ‘Sauce from the pork on the plate’ to the tune of Kiss From A Rose.” Corona virus is our cover excuse for not taking me out.

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Get down to this show headed by the incredible #awkwardgiraffe team this Tuesday for some femme funnies! One of my jokes might land, and who knows when that’ll happen next! #yesallwomen #melbournecomedy

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

@dadwroteaporno Excuse me while I mount dear old Taccy and canter away from this situation🐴🍎

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Employment services: So kind of employment are you seeking Jess?

Me: *unfurls poster and slams on desk*

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Getting through the day job thinking about my next stand up gig at @thehighlnder_p for Awkward Giraffe’s next #yesallwomen show. May involve catastrophic nativity scenes and white kids playing people they shouldn’t in school performances; prepare your cringe muscles 💪

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Shazam 2: Based on a Dream by My Dad

Wizard: Billy Batson, DONT fuck with bees or coffee

Shazam: Well I get bees, that goes without saying, but why not coffee?

Wizard: The world runs on it; just don’t fuck with it

We await the contract for the screenplay @TheDCUniverse

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Oh yeah, I’ve done SEVERAL stand up gigs, so feeling deserving of this return to Twitter. Hold your applause, I beg of you! #letstrythismelarkyagain

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

As some of you may know, I attended the Courtney Herron vigil at Royal Park last night, closing on a year to the day that my friend from high school had been murdered roughly a kilometre away from the place Courtney… https://t.co/v1ZsNZuJNl

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

@EddieMcClintock My sister and I often greet each other over text with a Hey HEY hey because of the series 😛👍

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Thanks dean.robert.watson for sharing these photos of me when I assisted on autocue for an episode of #mainlandtonighttv 📺 @ RMITV https://t.co/Ll3hX7eI0h

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Had a very dramatic but very fun Monday evening operating autocue for Episode 3 of #mainlandtonighttv - RMITV looks a lot snazzier from when I las worked on set, and so are the crew! 😂… https://t.co/9n41wR7eYd

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Every time I apply for a job and miss out, I get Muffin Break on speed dial to see if the employer just wants free labour instead. Thinking I should go into recruitment.

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Have to thank my lovely friends for a wonderful afternoon of deep talks, yummy snacks and drinks, having a giggle in front of the Liberal stall and soaking in the sun! One of my favourite… https://t.co/HsPbEH2UJf

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

Me: Honestly, @ArnottsBikkies can’t get any better —

Them: *releases the Monte Carlo ice-cream sandwich*

Me: You beautiful bastards.

[Jess 💜 @opal_light]

The best sum up of the Gillette advert I've seen 🤗

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

@OlanRogers @FinalSpaceTBS 😱🔥👏

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

This is the collection of fiction, non-fiction and screenplays I both got for myself and received over Christmas! I did very little reading last year, so definitely looking to rectify that… https://t.co/Ls7dPOg5dF

[Jess Budin @jrbudin]

@isaacinspace - I hope you take some comfort in the fact that one of your books (and short stories) has a safe and happy home, on the shelves of a weird, near-mid twenties kiddo on the… https://t.co/ZwoM9G5Irt