Joooooordan 🚀

25 years old & still bad at i before e except after c. she/her

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

Its national best friend day. Look at this. Majestic.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

overheard on the plane “Alexa, wheres the headphone jack on this seat?” and was baffled at why she would think Alexa would know that. until her real, human friend named Alexa replied that it was on the armrest.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@subtle_punk god and the four quadrants of that bowl? fuck bro

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@subtle_punk these are such fucking cool things. theyre not fucked up at all they just have extremely charming character and if i were drinking tea out of them id feel SO cozy bro. so cozy. Great job

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@EmpireStateBldg pleaaaase

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

hello mr/mrs/ms/mx. @EmpireStateBldg ,

if you have no light colors planned for my birthday july 5th this year can u please make it my favorite color? i’m trying to have a really good year.

thank u,
jordan

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@13EricaLynn @EmpireStateBldg is it working

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@13EricaLynn @EmpireStateBldg shhhhh i thought abt it but i dont want the presssure of deciding rn they have to guess its a fun game im flirting w them

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

if i’ve tweeted multiple times in one day no matter how correct or funny or boring or wrong the tweets may be please know i forgot to take my meds ❤️

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

yes, same as the rest of the internet, where nazis seeking out like-minded nazis can find each other. historically this never leads to any problems. completely understand why we’d want to take the worst part of the internet and make sure it can happen on this platform. fucker.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

New Twitter policy is freedom of speech, but not freedom of reach.

Negative/hate tweets will be max deboosted & demonetized, so no ads or other revenue to Twitter.

You won’t find the tweet unless you specifically seek it out, which is no different from rest of Internet.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

i likely will not do either but my brain so violently wants to do both of these things. i see myself with the pink paintball gun making those yard signs illegible. i see myself going to town on the stupid dividers in benches. logically i know this solves 0 problems.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

my 2 favorite chaotic intrusive thoughts:

“i could just purchase a paintball gun and do drive-bys” EVERY time i see a trump lawn sign

and

“i could just purchase a sledgehammer and knock out the middle armrest” every time i see one of those anti-homeless benches

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

@elonmusk Advertisers also don’t typically start spending more money at a company where thousands of people are being fired with little notice. Doesn’t really sell the idea that you’re doing something right, just something extreme, which is all you really wanted to do.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

this is so funny. like even if everything you said was true and you were doing nothing wrong (you are doing so many things wrong btw) this would literally just mean people fucking hate you so much they’d drop ads on one of the biggest social media sites just to make you cry 😭😂

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Twitter has had a massive drop in revenue, due to activist groups pressuring advertisers, even though nothing has changed with content moderation and we did everything we could to appease the activists.

Extremely messed up! They’re trying to destroy free speech in America.

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

i absolutely love my headphones so much its my own little world and if i want to listen to the same song 48 times in a row and repeat the bridge 3 times each listen bc someone hits a really nice note i can do that its so nice

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

wow taylor sounds upset about something

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

anyway i never figured it out but my therapist did enlighten me with some other truths LOL

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

the most prominent thoughts i remember having in highschool are:

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

- how much eye contact can i make before people realize i’m gay? (haha)

- how much eye contact do i make so people dont think i’m creepy? where do i look? is it weird to stare at someones forehead? oh my god?

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

@13EricaLynn YEAH THIS TOO

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

if i see one more “i used to be smart now i cant deal with failure” im gonna lose it. no one is comfortable with failure. its not because you got a shiny gold star for being able to do math good in 5th grade

[Joooooordan 🚀 @jrdnksr]

can we all shut up about ‘gifted child programs’ its really pissing me off