James Bloom

Baffled peasant • 8 Nectar Points

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

I fear we are becoming an Orwellian society.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

Ha ha! Imagine living somewhere called Bonneval!

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

My favourite curry is L&A

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

I’m genuinely at a loss to explain this sign in a Swiss car park.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

Millions and billions
One million seconds = 11 days
One billion seconds = 31 years
Jeff Bezos’s net worth is 216 billion = 6,800 years

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

Just for the record, I think ‘Conclave’ is one of the worst films ever made and when the day of reckoning comes, and humanity is judged on its achievements, I would like this to be noted. #conclave #BAFTA2025

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

“Ok, Donald, before we break for playtime, can you give me an example of a simile.”

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

The absolute contempt in the French description of a sliced white loaf.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

When I go for a run, I find my weakness is my achilles tendon.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

@Barry317446 @DiedSuddenly_ I don’t know much about epidemiology, virology, genetics, biology, pharmacology, pathology, demography, immunology or serology, but “I think…”

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

I’ve reached a turning-point in my life and I feel so free, I wish I had done it years ago. I no longer read the introduction in books.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

Bought this bowl from Oliver Bonas. Beginning to suspect the whole business is based on puns.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

The smallest house in Amsterdam.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

@theJeremyVine I use that cycle lane regularly and give a little leeway to drivers turning into Weltje Road, because I empathise with their situation. Your behaviour gives cyclists a bad name and, as such, you’re actually a danger to other cyclists. Be better.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

@TwopTwips Londoners! Don’t waste time reading the works of Kafka. Simply try reporting a faulty traffic light.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

@jordanbpeterson Well, I’m sold! Especially as one of the signatories is Purwono Wahyudi, “entrepreneur and informed climate realist.”

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

Hey there ’World’s Strongest Man’ competition’. Forget pulling cars and lifting lorry tyres. Try carrying a wet Christmas tree more than 100 yards.

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

One of the smartest, wittiest, kindest people I ever had the pleasure to know, who had that rare quality of making you feel smarter and funnier than you are. RIP sweet soul. https://t.co/iU6S6Ddz7J

[James Bloom @jrjbloom]

@rafaelbehr @caitlinmoran Trussnomics is the cashier at the till asking if you’d like to add any of these items for £1.00.