Jonah Berger

Some thoughts (and complaints) about the world.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

@_almaaher Don’t force it!

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Indonesians are the most underpresented group in the US full-stop. Indonesia has 4th largest pop. in the world! and yet I can’t find an Indonesian restaurant, have never meet an Indonesian person, can’t find a book about the place (other than a travel guide for Bali)

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

I will never understand why anyone would (purposely) eat a radish.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

I think we should invent a new category called the “happy birthday” friend. Once a year, they shoot you that half-assed happy birthday text (probably copied from their text the year before) and that’s the last you hear from them for another 12 months.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Was anyone else an absolute fiend for box tops at the age of like 10?

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Only in Cambridge, Massachusetts will you see 20 grown-a** adults with 6-foot-long poles under their crotches playing a full game of quidditch at 8 am on a Sunday

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Ice cream by the cup is one of the biggest scams ever invented. $6 for ONE SCOOP when you can walk to the cvs down the road and get a PINT for that amount.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Why don’t they sell naming rights to airports? “Hi folks, this is your captain speaking; we’re making our initial descent into New York-Taco Bell. Please fasten your seatbelts.”

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Kamala Harris should pick Josh Shapiro as her running mate just to take the whole “Jews run the world” out of the realm of conspiracies. They’re gonna say we run the world whether we do or not, so might as well just try it out and see if we can deliver!!

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

FYI I don’t give a sh** that the fries on your menu are “hand-cut.” You think I’m a Luddite or something?

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Why do gyms only play pop music? Like imagine if they threw in some country or classical every once in a while to keep people off guard? You’re doing your reps to some boring Taylor Swift song, and then… a whole-ass orchestra playing Ode to Joy comes on full-blast.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

I’m glad they put this warning here, because I was just getting hungry and thinking about eating some fern for lunch….

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Turns out people watching Spanish-language stations (which use voiceovers) thought Biden did great at the debate. So here’s my proposal: Biden gets a full-time ENGLISH-language voiceover.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

If you’re gonna eat yogurt on the train, would ya mind doing it with your mouth closed?

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Do you ever think about the fact that you basically started off life pulling off a Michael Phelps-level victory?

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Rather than deploying a thousand policemen to a college campus to get students out of some ivory tower, can we get them to CVS to forcibly lower these lightbulb prices? $11 for a single bulb? For that price, it should come with f****** planets orbiting around it.

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

Red lines trains in Boston are like Donald and Melania Trump - you’ll never see them within 5 miles of one another unless they need to show a good face for the feds

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

FYI I promise I’m not posting this just to show off my sky-high income

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

I think Massachusetts (i.e., “Taxachusetts”) should add a “hell no” option to their “would you happen to want to pay us more taxes?” question

[Jonah Berger @jsbdodo12]

The “no talking in the elevator, just nod and look at the ceiling” sh*t might be our culture’s worst habit. We’ve gotta spice it up ASAP. So I’m proposing that right after the door closes, the elevator freezes until it hears one person ask: “what do you all think of Israel?”