Scout Master Ward

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

The Millennial Falcon

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

The best part about picking a movie with friends is that it is quick and also easy.

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

date: you can't seriously be mad
me: [one french fry fewer than before] i just hope i don't starve

[RollmanInOz @Rollmaninoz]

🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

- Nena

[Andy Baxter @baxtertown]

Cormac McCarthy doesn’t say:
“The boy looked at the wolf’s ear”

Instead...he says:
“He studied the veined and velvet grotto into which the audible world poured.”

I’m studying a master.

[Jeff Wysaski @pleatedjeans]

The alphabet scares me

“A bee sea?”

No thank you I’ll just stop you right there

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

When dad says you aren’t going to Valhalla anymore.

[Ben @0point5twins]

The author of what’s been described as “the world’s worst thesaurus” has dismissed the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

The optimal way to cut a bagel is a Möbius strip, don’t @ me.

[Tommytoughstuff @Tommytoughstuff]

ME: (dipping my fig newton into a glass of tap water) Maybe you’re the boring one, Karen.

[rob elliott @rockymomax]

[making the first boat]
"How do we get across this river?"
ME: we gotta build a boat
"What's a boat?"
ME: that's what we gotta figure out

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

Happy birthday Jace. Been friends for a while now. Let’s keep it going. #poorzhu

[palmer @decentbirthday]

Isn't it weird how Greenland is icy and Iceland is where my wife moved when she left me

[Scout Master Ward @jshave21]

It has come to my attention that Sarah McLaughlin has been keeping tabs on my Twitter for over a year now. I’m glad to see my account is in the arms of an angel.

[palmer @decentbirthday]

[skiing]

friend: meet me at the black diamond

me: how do i find the slope

friend: y=mx+b, but that's not important right now