James

I’ll fork over the recipe but you won’t taste the sauce

[James @jsomero05]

Life will open doors of opportunity for those who pull the handle when people are waiting around the door saying it’s locked

[James @jsomero05]

Make this a jersey

[James @jsomero05]

None of you are Knicks fans please stop stop right now you don’t live in New York please shut up stop I hate you stop it stfu its playoffs we all like these teams it’s the finals yes they are awesome the best teams great idgaf YOU CANNOT BE A FAN

[James @jsomero05]

Always feel bad when I see kids wearing headphones while with their parents, they can’t be that bad

[James @jsomero05]

If I could throw on a different pair of surge joggers Monday - Sunday, hell yeah I’ll be the one chubby white dude working at Lululemon

[James @jsomero05]

Everyone in the gym rn has better physiques, taller, more money, better clothes etc. but it doesn’t matter because I have harmony

[James @jsomero05]

They call you big bush cause you ain’t never been trim

[James @jsomero05]

@KhemmoroAntonio I wanted to reply to this and say “when have you ever not been the smallest person” but I know this would lead to James 2022 through 2026 fat jokes so I’ll leave it alone

[James @jsomero05]

I’m tellin ya 🗣️🗣️

[James @jsomero05]

@alxemergency Nah, I’m a half blood, so I’d estimate that of all the people I consistently talk to Chaldeans actually take up less than half, blood.

[James @jsomero05]

Why do Chaldean men ask so many questions. Ages 14 through 26 specifically, I would estimate that around 75% of the questions I’ve received in my life come from this demographic alone.

[James @jsomero05]

If the real world is how Colin Cowherd makes it out to be I’ll be just fine

[James @jsomero05]

Axel-Steve Somero (ASS) will live in Brixton. On weekdays he can only wear his school uniform, which he’ll only have one of. On weekends, he’ll be dressed to the nines in clothing and accessories exclusively from Costco. He will be bullied profusely - that’s the point.

[James @jsomero05]

Bisher and Julian are the Bruce Wayne to my Batman, where I am they are not, and where they are I am not. I vehemently anticipate our reunion. Their words about my weight will bring me joy, our distance has made their commentary invaluable. This day is soon!

[James @jsomero05]

Week 4 of this class and just realized I am in fact not at the cool boys table, and to be honest, I haven’t been all semester, they don’t answer questions often, but they still do, they listen but also have phones out sometimes, they are cool, I am not.

[James @jsomero05]

“What does (blank) mean?”

“Can you use it in a sentence? What’s the context? Spell it?”

HEY YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS JUST SHUT UP

Honestly being either person in this situation is stupid, just look it up fam.

[James @jsomero05]

Who am I to mind about matter

[James @jsomero05]

Overweight mfs always be working summer jobs where they get extra sweaty, this of course is coming from me, an overweight person who has worked several sweaty jobs in my time

[James @jsomero05]

Going to Shenandoah for the first time in about six months, I feel like a celebrity from the middle of nowhere when they go back home and everybody’s all mad to see them i.e. Mr. frog

[James @jsomero05]

If the odds were -350 a bunch of other people probably already had it in their parlay.

lemme know

[James @jsomero05]

@bishy205 If you are Batman in this, Harry Ducu is the Joker