jess

🌙

[jess @jsstn_]

chase alcohol, not boys

[jess @jsstn_]

ill have a window with 100 tabs opened and ill still be like “hmm.. RESTORE” after my computer restarts

what mental illness is this

[jess @jsstn_]

fr tho why do gyms have a max of 3 squat racks and 2 smith machines like yall broke or sumn

[jess @jsstn_]

@heyitsjoodz I KNOW AND THE ONE TIME I GO ALONE 🤮 the good part was people around me heard 18 and started giving him the bombastic side eye so he left me alone LMFAOOOOO

[jess @jsstn_]

mid workout like mid squat a middle aged white man approaches me and is giving yellow fever and then asks me for my name and age 🤮 i picked a random girl name and said 18 so he could go away and then he asked if my dad or bf was around FUCK OFF LEMME WORKOUT IN PEACE 😭😭😭

[jess @jsstn_]

meathead chads are the worst species to exist at the gym there should be a chad only gym so all the big ego men can work out and fight each other for machines and weights 👍🏼

[jess @jsstn_]

ok but like they couldnt have waited for the apple vision pro to come out to experience the titanic that way??? cheaper, safer, more “immersive”???

[jess @jsstn_]

very weird how theres articles saying monkeypox is coming back right before pride szn.. like same time last year too.. WEIRD *bombastic side eye*

[jess @jsstn_]

@heyitsjoodz omg bitch i told my bf about u and i described u as my freshman yr mom 🥲 “she always reminded me to bring my jacket” 😭🥰

[jess @jsstn_]

but fr tho where can i get a crunchy outside, soft af inside artisan gourmet bagel in LA like the ones in NY look so fire where can i get that here

[jess @jsstn_]

psa that brown sugar and oat milk doesnt have to be in every single type of drink.. or be a “flavor” for every bev..

[jess @jsstn_]

flume on friday hehe basically a one way ticket back to 2012 😵‍💫🔮🎵🌀👾🔥🤑✨

[jess @jsstn_]

what is the deal with corporate jobs and mendocino farms >:(

[jess @jsstn_]

earring shopping just makes me want to get more piercings

[jess @jsstn_]

all of my TLs are just people having babies, getting engaged, or going to med school i feel like im doing something wrong

[jess @jsstn_]

100 gecs has crack in their music i stg my brain feels fuzzy and at peace all at once

[jess @jsstn_]

@godzillabeth @krassenstein ur tweet is too nice LOOOOOL mine is uh 💀

[jess @jsstn_]

now when people ask me who my first childhood crush is and i have to go from cole sprouse 🥰😌🤩to cole sprouse 🤐🤢😬 8 yr old me liked red flags too

[jess @jsstn_]

LMFAOOOOO all i read was “too senile to function, will prob die anyway”

[The Associated Press @AP]

Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell has tripped and fell at a hotel and was hospitalized, a spokesman for the senator says. https://t.co/Dc7h9ghT0L

[jess @jsstn_]

NOOOO I REGRET NOT GOING TO ROLLING LOUD BC DON TOLIVER BROUGHT OUT JB FOR PRIVATE LANDING AKAKXKWKXJANZJAKZJS i would have passed out, died, came back to life, and die again holy fuck

[jess @jsstn_]

@heyitsjoodz lowkey trending rn too with the snakes 🤞🏼LMAOOO also the game did a great job with their cottagecore common room