Joel Foreman

I'm a stand-up comedian.

[GigaBro-BulletShogun @BeGreaterBullet]

Full Documentary "WHAT IS A MAN"
X edition

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Aren't they all flesh wounds?
I have a denim wound.
No, you fell off your bike and ripped your jeans. The good news is now you can sell them to a teenage girl. She'll probably pay extra because the rips are authentic.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

By the time she finished taking pictures, the cake no longer had enough candles.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

@mrtweetusa No, I can't.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

I should stop drinking before I start speaking honestly about my feelings. 😉

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Are you baby proofing your house?
Yes. I ordered some, No Children Allowed," signs and my vasectomy is scheduled for next week.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Matches are all the same...

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

It's so hot outside that halfway home from the grocery store the pop tarts were done.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

He was so high, I would have expected him to be eating at Taco Bell, not working the counter.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

For Lent I gave up Catholicism.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Just because I have no medical training, they don't want me treating patients. Nurses are such snobs... 😜

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Jane Foster got hammered and woke up Thor. #thorloveandthunder

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

So apparently she was just screening her phone calls. All this time I thought she was screaming her balls off. #misheardlyrics

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

I just got a spoiler installed, so now, before I even watch it, I know how the movie ends.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

There are some things that you can do that can do something to you.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Is putting self driving tech before its perfected into asian cars is racist?

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

You wouldn't be protesting planned parenthood if your parents had planned better...

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

I'd never use Uber Pool. Too many people I know pee in the pool...

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

If intelligent design is correct, that means god put the itchy spot in the middle of my back just barely out of reach on purpose.

[Joel Foreman @jtforeman72]

Is an abortion considered preventive medicine?