Jimmy Tightpants

I'm just a squirrel trying to get a butt.

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

My new sounds: I Used To Make These Incredibly Incoherent Mixtapes https://t.co/1E2XpoC8YO on #SoundCloud

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Haikus is real cool / Don't get it twisted, you ho / Five-seven-five, bitch #freestyle #haiku #offthedome

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

@thechrishaley @Essa_Dee @usagiakg @Leask @curtofranklin yeah yeah yeah *Chris Covington voice*

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

I suddenly forgot how to draw stuff that isn't stupid #apprenticeproblems

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Cat jumps on my lap when I am about to take off my pants to go to bed and I'm like "Damn Tina I feel so conflicted."

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Lost signal?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! #talk2wftda http://t.co/KdVkqyRdfq

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Do I want to subscribe to the "CRIP$ FOR LIFE" channel on YouTube?

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

@taylorswift13 Tay I was just listening to this and I think I need to star as you in the video. No offense to your artistry, but I'd kill it

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

True Detective S2E05: "Crazy Molly Orgy"

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

If my cat had a cell phone I would text her that she ain't gonna get no fucking Taco Bell unless she comes to the goddamn room

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

I just saw a commercial where a basketball got blocked into a dude's face and the ball turned into water and it was an ad for razors

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

@lochnesshamstr @Ivy_the_Opossum NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

I wish I were First Team All Defense

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Current mood: 🍉, na-na

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

@curtofranklin yo how you been fam. miss u

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Hay wuzzup y'all

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

In Teletubbies fashion, @BillMurray will play the face of the sun, smiling and laughing in the distance #laserkrueger

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

@DannyDeVito plays a Japanese bystander shouting "Oh no, Laser Krueger!", @TonyDanza is his wife, drops her purse and faints #laserkrueger

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Mecha Laser Mothra played by @Oprah #laserkrueger

[Jimmy Tightpants @jtightpants]

Laser Mothra played by @BarackObama because everyone has a price #laserkrueger