Jason

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

When preparing my lunch, I faced a dilemma. Do I make a sandwich out of the two nasty bread ends? Then, it came to me. I glued them together with mayo and hot sauce (my classic coldcut condiments), so that they would function together as one slice. The final product? Immaculate.

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

just did the ol “whats in your ear?” trick to my landlord and pulled my rent money out of it

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@GasolineJoy @rockmeannadeus to vouch on behalf of its heft and splendor? only a couple seconds

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

Feel like you don’t really hear about pillow fights much anymore

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@Dan_ifest https://t.co/G6gKjjcpMo

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

Confessed to my roommate that sometimes I steal our other roommate’s mouth wash

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

Alex G is Karol G's brother.

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

3 people have texted me about this but 0 people have liked it. There was a period in my life where this would’ve have 10 likes by now.

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

Chillin in my yard and a lil glob of tree sap fell on me so I decided to eat it but now my teeth have a layer of sap coating them

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@ipissloudasfuck how much are you selling for?

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@noolimitkev @nikaashp 😫🥊

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@noolimitkev

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

if you want a +1 to my wedding that’s fine, just know I’ll be giving out just as many -1s to other guests and one of them might use it on you 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@noolimitkev easily best song from Glory

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

placing a grain of sand in my popped cyst infection so that a pearl will grow

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@noolimitkev he sounds like lewis capaldi. weeknd sounds way better on both his songs with her

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@silly_tmilly @nikaashp This feels more @baileyh75 than me tbh

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@silly_tmilly I do wish I had thought of this first

[Jason @jtrizzle35]

@beardbone_ I’m so grateful you’re choosing me over BLY and ALX