Jordan Shipley

TV/Film Writer. The Afterparty. Wrecked.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Feels like everyone should pin their worst tweet, just to really see what we’re working with.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

https://t.co/ZJ5gTprdjL

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

No one:

Venmo: Your ex girlfriend’s new girlfriend paid a guy named Keith for a 🍩

[Christopher Miller @chrizmillr]

Season 2 ep 5 of #TheAfterparty has dropped on Apple TV+!
This one’s told as a slick heist film, featuring the funny and charming @jackwhitehall, written by the brilliant Shipley bros (@jtshipley) & directed again by the multi-talented @anuvalia!
Lots of mystery answers revealed!

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@jimfieldsmith This is… incredible. And should be your next project?!

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Sometimes when I’m home alone and spooked and think there’s an intruder hiding somewhere, I say out loud, “I see you. You’re right there, I can literally see you.” in hopes that the intruder will be like - fuck, gigs up. Better come out. Smart, no?

[Christopher Miller @chrizmillr]

Catch up on Season 1 of #TheAfterparty before Season 2 premieres July 12th on @AppleTV
(And get your first mini-peek at Season 2 at the end of this vid!)

https://t.co/Mgxcak1l1v

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@WillGreenberg Appreciate the quick response brother

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

I know this isn’t the most pertinent issue for today’s writers’ strike but… how do we feel about shorts? It’s 65 degrees but is it a balmy 65?

[Rachel Smith @rachelsmitts]

Writing television is really fun and easy and not hard at all:

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Republicans put up like a hundred swamp creatures named Bud Chubbly, a walking jar of mayonnaise running on the platform of not seeing BROS in theaters.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@rachelsmitts Seems early in the day to get yelled at by @rachelsmitts but here we are!

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Wearing shorts is humiliating and wearing pants is a nightmare. So where do we go from here? 1/319

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

The sexual tension between me and this tahini chocolate chip cookie is wild.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Tom Cruise and I are both humans in the sense that a tuxedo and a “Who Farted” t-shirt are both clothes.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@aplockhart This tweet belongs in a frame, hell it belongs in a museum.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

Have I watched so many “horse hoof cleaning” videos on tik tok that I think I could do it expertly? 100% There is literally no doubt in my mind. Give me a pair of those big fucking pliers and metal chopsticks.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@zcregger made a movie and it's as good as it is scary, AND IT'S SO GOD DAMN SCARY! Make sure you bring a second pair of pants to the theaters on August 31st!

[20th Century Studios @20thcentury]

BARBARIAN. Only in theaters August 31.

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

I don’t like it one fucking bit but I just know my Top Gun call sign would be “Hot Dog.”

[Jordan Shipley @jtshipley]

@chrizmillr @rejectedjokes @TiffanyHaddish @SamRichardson @philiplord @SonicMovie @ParamountPics This tweet is art and deserves to be framed and hung in a museum.