mima

mind over matter

[🐺 @jeongjeonginuna]

Knetz ini cerita soal alasan kenapa orang tuanya jarang berantem selama jadi suami istri.

Suatu hari ayahnya salah jalan saat menyetir sampai jauh banget. Bukannya marah, ibunya malah bilang, “Malah bagus dong, jadi bisa lewat jalan yang belum pernah kita lewati dan lihatin pemandangan baru.”

Sebaliknya, pernah juga ibunya udah masak semua lauk tapi lupa pencet tombol rice cooker. Ayahnya nggak ngomel, malah langsung pakai jaket dan keluar sambil bilang, “Tunggu, aku ke minimarket beli Hetbahn (nasi instan). Kebetulan lagi pengen makan nasi hangat.”

Menurut OP, keluarga yang harmonis bukan berarti nggak pernah punya masalah, tapi ketika masalah datang mereka nggak sibuk mencari siapa yang salah. Mereka justru langsung cari solusi dan bikin suasana tetap ringan.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@txtharihariWNI itulah ibu yg gk dpt kasih sayang dr suami, makanya controlling dan dependent ke anak lakinya, dan km dianggep saingannya kak. jujur susah.. hrs lebih tegas, aplg si suami biar bener2 memisahkan diri dari ibunya scr emosional

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@yappingfess bentuk tanggungjawab diri kita kpd diri sendiri untuk melindungi diri. karena kita gabisa kontrol apa yg org lakukan, kita cm bertanggungjwb atas diri kita sendiri. kl ada kejadian buruk pun, kita bs negur, ngelabrak, ngelapor krn itu jg bentuk tanggungjawab kita

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan yah gak dibaca nih yg gw tulis, "if u still go, u know u how to protect urself". protect urself bisa dgn buanyak bgt cara, kl udh kejadian yg gk safe, lu tau lu bisa negur or even ngelapor. girl, predators are everywhere, it could be ur partner too. dan lu gabisa kontrol mereka

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan integrating animus is also being protective to yourself. if u know u will not be safe to go there, then don't go. if u still go, u know how to protect urself. that's u being protective to urself. that's what bringing safety to urself, by urself, not by others.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan and tbh, projections or what u mean preferences sometimes come from your disown part of yourself. u look financial safety, maybe bcs part of u feel like u cannot provide for urself enough. carl jung said, this is unintegrated animus for women. and for men is unintegrated anima.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan you just prove my point, you cannot seek safety by your preferences. and that's the real love.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan and I'm not saying women cannot have options, why are u intepreting it like that? everyone can do whatever they want, that's why you cannot seek safety from the other. whatever they do, it's them. we're just 2 whole different human in a relationship.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan i think what you said about prefenrences and "someone who does not constantly trigger your nervous system" are different things. imho, your preferences are projections and eventually it will become controlling to the other person. if smday men cannot provide for u, then u leave?

[mima @jujubiiyy]

we're just talking in different languages

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan imo, what you said "preferences" are some kind of control. you cannot project someone to be everything that you wanted to feel whole. we're just human afterall.

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan bcs someday it will hit us that they cannot be what you wanted. cewe yg harusnya nurut ternyata bisa capek dan menolak km. cowo yg tadinya secure bisa tiba tiba cuek. kita cuma manusia biasa kok, yg kompleks, banyak luka, punya perasaan dan boundaries. jd, berusaha secure sendiri

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@fluoxetan i personally disagree. for me, both women and men should not look for safety from the other. dua dua nya harus secure sendiri2, that way they can respect each other's boundaries. not needing the other to be a certain way, that's just controlling. true love isn't control❤️

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@18fesss karena takut ditinggalin lg kyk bpknya yg ilang2an di masa kecilnya. makanya maunya nempel terus, sbg bentuk controlling, dgn harapan untuk gk ditinggalin lg. pdhl manusia gada yg abadi, kematian itu udh pasti.. belajar sadar kl yg takut itu inner child km, dan skrg km sdh dewasa

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@dazzlingwarm @fuyuxis krn teh melati emg ga tahan panas kak, kl kena panas pasti wanginya ilang dan tinggal rasa paitnya. baiknya seduh biasa pake air yg ga terlalu panas, tambahin creamer bnyk sm gula udh jd kyk tianll

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@petsreid_ itulah projection, dia ngiranya si laki beneran dewas, stabil, bisa ngurus keluarga. padahal mah dgn dia selingkuh aja udh keliatan kl dia gk stabil dan gabisa ngurus keluarga😂 dua2nya oon

[mima @jujubiiyy]

@miyawrace he feels very powerless to the point he wants to control his wife. he wants a sense of power pdhl dia bukan Tuhan. what a weak

[Eden 규🐧 @vousmevoyezcry]

@sbyfess panggilan "mas" jadi sakral
panggilan "mbak" buat pembantu.
negara udah mau ancur, masih aja ribetin hal kek begitu