Christmas Cracked

Christmas crackers are improved when you apply the joke from one to the punchline of another! This is proof?
A @scattermoon twitterbot.

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What do you give a dog for Christmas? A nervous wreck

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Why did the pony have to clear his throat? Santa walking backwards

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What is Good King Wenceslas's favourite pizza order? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe

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What's Santa's favourite tipple? Frostbite

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What's the most popular Christmas wine? He sensed your presents

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Why is everyone so thirsty at the north pole? Because he was tied to the chicken

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What do snowmen have for breakfast? No well, no well

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Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? A broken drum; you just can't beat it!

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What is Santa's wife called? It has no 'L'

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What is Good King Wenceslas's favourite pizza order? Jingle Bells & Tonic

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What has four legs but can’t walk? Shark-infested custard

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What did Adam say the day before Christmas? The Ghost of Christmas passed

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Why does Santa have three gardens? They always drop their needles

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Yule log

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What do you call Rudolph in a blindfold? A weigh in a manger

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because he was tied to the chicken

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Why did the pony have to clear his throat? Elvish Presley

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What did Santa say to his wife when he looked out of the window? Looks like rain, dear

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Neighbours

[Christmas Cracked @jumblejokes]

What are the best Christmas sweaters made from? Santa walking through a revolving door