Jumper, E.

HECKA dope

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"Keanu this might sound strange but I think I just got an email from you 700 years in the future"

"That doesn't surprise me, I don't age"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"I only use Ray Liotta Private Select Honey"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

I've lost all motivation to work today so I'm now sitting in my machine, rewatching Parks and Recreation on my phone.

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

Convinced that all people do in VT is stand in line at liquor stores and build snow men

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

Stopping at Denny's at 1am next to a college on a Saturday night after I just worked 16 hours wasn't a smart idea

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"Welcome to Vermont. Want to listen to the radio? Hope you like NPR and Hip-Hop"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

Hello my name is human

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

Kanye West was hospitalized for something that literally happens to me erry fuckin day

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

#MetalMonday

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"You can't have a conscious in the pimp-game"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"You tap dancing sell out"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"YOU KNOW IM NOT A DELIVERY MAN. IM WEARING A SUIT AND CARRYING A MICROWAVE."

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"Were you texting at the wheel back there?"

"No sir, I'm just really bad at driving"

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

Why wouldn't you check first?!?!? https://t.co/DS5Vyluokv

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

Pet peeve: Having to interact with other humans

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"Fam, I don't even know what 'coasting' means so I ain't even gon try to explain myself unless it has somethin to do with a high speed boat"

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"Tell him his mother is here. And she loves him....but not in a queer way."

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

@VieleeParmesan You, mostly.

[Jumper, E. @jumper_eric]

"I hope a booth is ok. We burned all the chairs in a bonfire"