Junaid Ali

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

@MMFlint’s 1st film in 6 years is coming out and he needs our help with #WhereToInvadeNext! Read & RT! https://t.co/pQKoe3a9io

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

@Pepsico: still bulldozing the rainforest and not responding to this question despite many posts? http://t.co/nptjsc3e53 via @Sum_Of_Us

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

.@Pepsico: why are you bulldozing the rainforest? http://t.co/nptjsc3e53 via @Sum_Of_Us

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/0YwGYfmxhz The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway.

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/pJ8NqklwPL A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior.

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

I'm trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I'm driving naked. http://t.co/SKekai87j8

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/I8gXXLi83B It's not stalking if you don't put it in park.

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/gdZLFVcQwU Whoever named it 'rain' is an idiot. I definitley wouldve called it 'sky water.'

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/pLw4sxYcJ1 Wake and bake and bake and bake and bake and bake - really busy pothead chefs daily itinerary

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

"You can't tell me what to do!" I screamed, and ate the packet of silica gel. http://t.co/Cvc8C5xDZS

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

If you want to set up a company and run it then that's your business. http://t.co/zcmPopqXPe

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

i want a segway so i can ride my segway away from my problems http://t.co/mEIunDy0p5

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/trkU8RrYBY These microwaved pot stickers taste like fixed income.

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/gb8xfE8enC Well, that didn't work. Anybody need 1000 custom candy hearts saying "Threesome?"

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

If you know how many calories are in your donut, you're not eating it right. http://t.co/DBTdXHKZ

[Junaid Ali @junaidali]

http://t.co/xzVPJVpF I experimented A LOT in college. (I was a chemistry major.)