Justin Newkirk

Homies help homies. Don't be a bad homie.

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Peeled this banana and found another one inside.

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

@tonyhawk #Hawk2024 Make America skate again

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

If the government still hasn’t payed me my unemployment checks from when I was laid off almost 4 months ago why do I have to pay my unemployment taxes now that I’m working again

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

My coworker has an alarm that goes off everyday at 4:20 in the office. I aspire to be like him one day

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Saying you’re dirty bulking is the perfect excuse for being fat and lazy for a few weeks

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

You ever invite your mom to a party and she actually shows up?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

@ashevansxo Thanks Ashley! 😘

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

I really enjoy the fact that Pepsi had the 6th largest military in the world back in the 80s

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Can someone order me more rubber bands? I’m almost out

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Yeet

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Liquor stores count as essential businesses right? if not I’m about to start looking at mouthwash a whole lot differently

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

This games gonna be sick

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

What if instead of trying to make college free we just make it reasonable price and not charge $400 for a book that got all its information off the internet?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

I got a new record on Waze the other day

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Putting new windshield wipers on your car is basically the same feeling as getting new glasses

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Is it just me or is whistling really annoying?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Why are scientists still using microscopes? If you take a picture with your phone and keep zooming in, it works just the same.

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Being an adult means I can have a box of wine and cups on the nightstand next to my bed right?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

Since the super bowl is on groundhogs day, instead of a coin flip to see who gets the ball, can it be based off if the groundhog sees his shadow?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

When did car antennas stop being a thing?

[Justin Newkirk @junewkirk]

What’s the ratio of horsepower to reign deer power? Asking for a friend...