mae

college dropout with too many hobbies 🧌

[mae @juniipermae]

No one:
My favorite patient: “I died about 7 minutes ago, welcome to my funeral”

[mika @mikasagrada]

minha cara durante todo o trajeto para o motorista saber que não é fácil me sequestrar.

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

manager: "you have a certain sparkle in your eyes when you work"
me: "those are tears"

[. @Carlosgramosc]

Querido diario, hoy me enojé 40 veces

[eclair @evilclaire]

once I get my iron levels back up it’s over for you hoes

[ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ @unusedcartt]

is this a manic episode or are we just so back

[Soph @sooaappyy__]

the dog in me has been euthanized

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

when i say “the other day” it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

And yall didn’t tell me smh

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

should i turn 28 be honest

[penny @xXMeatGodXx]

are you wiping what im shitting?

[Hens @HensDBD]

It's real

[miia @miiagarro]

and for the lady, perhaps a fucking break

[mika @mikasagrada]

As vezes eu me atraso pq eu fico assim por muito tempo

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

the older i get the heller the no

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

are any drug dealers looking for a receptionist or something idk lmk

[☔ @Whotfismick]

The ibuprofen trying to find the source of pain in my body

[KFC @kfc]

happy 4/20 we packed you a bowl

[Vellicora @Vellicora]

“you handled that so well” genuinely wtf was the other option

[cee @1ovesickkk]

does anyone know who what when where and why