Corey Lahey

if you ain’t first, you’re last

[Corey Lahey @junkyeldono]

Rest In Peace to a trailer park legend

[Poo Crave @Poo_Crave]

Christa Pike reveals her Temu Rose Toy was a "more intense experience" than two doses of state-mandated lethal injection

"Only one of 'em had me walking funny."

[NWord Scissorhands𓂆 @Otaku_Fish]

If I was bald I would just tell people that I lost my hair in Iraq

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

Nothing could have prepared for the way this video escalated lmao let’s fucking gooo

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

My toddler loves Monsters Inc. especially Mike Wazowski.

Yesterday I was in Walmart and came across this cool t-shirt.

I immediately bought it, put it on in the car, and rushed home to show my toddler.

I hunted her down as soon as I came through the door.

She was sitting on the couch watching Hogi and eating Goldfish crackers.

I said, ‘Libby check out my cool new shirt!’

I was beaming. I just knew she was gonna think my shirt was the coolest shit ever.

She looked at me, looked at my shirt, scoffed, and yelled, ‘GO AWAY!’

Listen.

I don’t think we talk enough about what huge pieces of shit toddlers are.

That’s literally my TV you are watching.
I paid for those Goldfish crackers.
That’s my fucking couch.

I bought this cool t-shirt ONLY because of you.

And this is your response you f#ggot piece of sh!t??

You are wearing a shirt with a turtle on it that says, ‘Turtley Adorable’ you fuck!ng idiot.

You are broke.
Homeless.
Have poor life skills.
You can’t even fucking speak English.

You are basically a Somali immigrant only brighter in complexion and with much less forehead mass.

I’ll wipe my ass with this shirt.

Fuck this shirt.

Bitch nigga.

Your mom is fat.

[Lincoln Paul @woklikeapenguin]

My doctor said, “Don’t eat anything fatty.” I said “You mean burgers and bacon ?” She said “No fatty, don’t eat anything.”#guesswhosfatty #iateher #gotinmybelly

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

RIP Big Pussy

[Kim Kardashian @KimKardashian]

I can't wait for Call Of Duty Black Ops II to come out!!!! The graphics look crazy!

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Carmelo Anthony

Carmela and Anthony

[Pittsburgh Scanner @pgh_scanner]

South Side. East Carson Street. Caller said that he gave a barber shop a bad review online. The barber just saw him and beat his ass.

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

Loving some late night
Seinfeld.

[JP 🍍 @JPLFR80]

I wonder how many times I have died on fuck, marry, kill

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

I make the Transformers sound when I change into sweatpants.

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

*zoomer Rodney Dangerfield*
I told my hb it’s problematic that he’s 20 and dating a high schooler.
He said “No cap?”
Yea, no gown either!

[Corey Lahey @junkyeldono]

Blacking out for Kyle Busch tonight #rip

[Klara @klara_sjo]

l wonder if Jack Skellington thinks about fat white chicks that live in trailer parks as much as they think about him.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

this sounds like one of the looney tunes schemes that the fbi would come up with to try and catch tony soprano

[Corey Lahey @junkyeldono]

Fire Tomlin, hire Geoff Matthews