Adelia

A data analyst, publicly documenting what she learns.

[Tanya @tanyaelisabethh]

If you never want to be an inconvenience, then you’ll never have any meaningful friendship, a meaningful marriage, or any meaningful relationship with anyone.

To love someone is to inconvenience them, it is to need them, it is to interrupt their plans, it is to ask for help, to need a ride at 2 in the morning to the airport, to need a store run because you must eat pickles right at this moment, all of it an annoying inconvenience.

And yet all of it also a wonderful inconvenience.

To be loved is to be inconvenienced, because a life where nobody bothers you, where nobody inconveniences you, is not a better happier one, it is just simply, and plainly, terribly lonely.

[Dr. Taylor Burrowes @taylorburrowes]

I think we make spouse selection way more complicated than it needs to be sometimes.

Strip it all the way down.

Is this person flexible when life doesn’t go according to plan?

Are they relatively emotionally stable, or does every inconvenience become a crisis?

Are they conscientious? Do they do what they say they’re going to do? Can they manage themselves and their responsibilities without being parented?

Are they agreeable enough to cooperate, compromise and consider someone besides themselves?

Because you’re not just choosing someone you’re attracted to or enjoy spending time with.

You’re choosing the personality you’re going to solve problems with for the next 40 years.

And the research on this is actually pretty consistent: lower neuroticism and higher conscientiousness and agreeableness are associated with greater relationship satisfaction.

Sometimes the fundamentals really are the basics.

Malouff et al. (2010), Journal of Research in Personality, 44(1), 124–127.

[vaishali🪬 @vaishalivt_]

how to build real self-confidence by respecting your own word:

- make fewer promises to yourself. don’t tell yourself you’ll work out 7 days a week if you know you won’t. set a standard you can actually keep.
- stop performing discipline for other people. if you’re only doing it because someone is watching, your confidence leaves when they do.
- keep the tiny promises.getting out of bed when you said you would. going to the gym.reading 10 pages. confidence is built through repetition, not grand gestures.
- separate feelings from commitments. you don’t need to feel motivated to become someone you trust.
- don’t negotiate with yourself. every unnecessary excuse teaches your brain that your own word is optional.
- let your actions become your evidence. you become confident by proving it to yourself over and over again.
- forgive the misses, but never abandon the standard. one bad day isn’t failure. breaking your word repeatedly without correcting it is.
- become someone who believes themselves. every time you follow through, you cast another vote for the person you’re becoming.

[DAN KOE @thedankoe]

If you even slightly entertain the thought of failure, you give your mind a chance to start noticing reasons to fail. But if the only option on your mind is to win, then the world seems to conspire in your favor, because your mind will notice opportunities it wouldn't have before. Become delusionally optimistic, not because it's realistic, but because it's effective. It drastically increases your chances of success.

[Shri @ElevateTSpirit]

Kill all the guilt. Kill all the shame. Resolutely accept the whole of yourself. Every flaw, every weakness, every mistake, every failure...accept every bit of it. That's the only way.

[MindBranches @MindBranches]

“How to articulate yourself intelligently”

article summary in 4k

[Mustafa. @oprydai]

how to study and learn really difficult subjects:

1. don’t panic. hard just means dense. it’s not impossible, it’s just packed. unwrap it slowly.
2. get a map before diving in. watch an overview video, read the table of contents, or skim the wikipedia page. you need context first.
3. use multiple sources. one book will confuse you, two will clarify, three will enlighten.
4. build intuition, not memory. visualize it. simulate it. code it. teach it to a friend or a wall.
5. tolerate confusion. you’ll feel dumb 90% of the time; that’s the price of learning something that rewires your brain.
6. connect it to reality. every abstract thing has a real-world analog. find it. relate it. ground it.
7. revisit the same topic after a week. mastery is not about reading once; it’s about returning after your brain has “chewed” on it.
8. don’t romanticize genius. smart people aren’t born knowing it. they just survived longer in the confusion phase.

the truth is; learning hard stuff isn’t about intelligence.
it’s about endurance, humility, and curiosity.

you stay long enough in the fog until it clears.

[James Clear @JamesClear]

In my early 20s, I wrote a list of ambitious things I wanted to do in life. Go bungee jumping. Create a movie. Start a business. That sort of thing. I did a few of them, but not most.

Looking back, however, that list was incredibly valuable because it taught me the usefulness of chasing bold ideas—even if they never materialize. The dreams that didn't happen changed shape and led me down other interesting paths.

The important thing isn't to achieve all your dreams, but to keep dreaming. Your desires change as you learn and grow. Old dreams will spawn new dreams. And eventually, one of these newer, more refined visions will find its moment and become reality.

[stressed @onlystresstoday]

Getting yo shit together requires a deep level of honesty with yourself, you gotta be able to look at yourself in the mirror & be willing to accept flaws & behavior that's not allowing you to grow , self evaluation is difficult but it's extremely necessary.

[Reads with Ravi @readswithravi]

I'm in love with this sentence:

“If you can overthink the worst why can't you overthink the best.”

[Dickson @Um__Dickson]

And when i successfully pass through this phase, I'l throw myself a party.

[ʕᵔﻌᵔʔ @saphelune_]

dear all, jangan salah pilih ya.

[The Shift Journal @TheShiftJournal]

Major life hack: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The Universe meets you at your level of audacity.

[vaishali🪬 @vaishalivt_]

how to actually go seek out rejection instead of running from it

- dm somebody you're scared to dm. the fear is the compass, go toward it
- apply / pitch / ask before you feel ready. let them say no, don't say it for them
- ask for more than feels comfortable. the version of you that gets rejected for asking big is closer to the version that gets a yes
- post the thing before it's perfect. let people see it half formed
- stop softening the ask so it doesn't sting if they say no. ask it straight
- when the no comes, don't spiral, just ask what door that closed and what one it's quietly opening that you can't see yet

your nervous system will start to recognize rejection as movement instead of failure