alexandra

I'm nothing if not obliging.

[alexandra @juvenalia]

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing me to put peanut butter in my waffle iron 😭

[alexandra @juvenalia]

@itsjojosiwa @CashApp $butterb3an #CashAppDay Amazing! Thank you for doing this 🤞

[alexandra @juvenalia]

@SpiritAirlines Flying tomorrow on #AprilFoolsDay — please don’t play any mean jokes on us!

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Oh wow oh wow.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

OH MY GOD IT WORKED

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Today in phone calls with my parents @Wayfair

[alexandra @juvenalia]

@GofSasha I mean, it is a gift.

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Does Amazon know what Hanukkah is?

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Pretty stressed that a @FedEx driver just forged my signature and dropped a package on the porch. I was home — he didn’t even try to knock. That package required a signature for a reason…

[alexandra @juvenalia]

So @PetSmart is it just me or…

[alexandra @juvenalia]

This is like every nightmare I’ve ever had. @HomeDepot

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Honestly @Delta, if you’re so short-staffed that my hold time has entered the open-ended realm of “greater than 9 hours,” just hire me and I’ll fix my own damn reservation.

[AC Junior @AC_Junior72]

How is calzone not trending?
#jeopardy #calzone

[alexandra @juvenalia]

The most unbelievable part of Legally Blonde is that Elle Woods has boxed hair color in her room.

[kottke.org @kottke]

A collection of verified fundraisers for the families of the Atlanta-area spa shootings and for organizations to help stop hate and violence against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. https://t.co/KcQxXqY3b4

[alexandra @juvenalia]

@LauraKwonDo I called Walmart twice. First time they told me the list was closed. The next day they told me the list was long, but they put me on it. Still haven’t gotten a call, but will report back if/when I do. I think it just depends on who answers.

[ali @alirichthem]

i am once again asking if he had it comin’

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Important discovery of the day: the thing in “Belle” that’s “too expensive” is some kind of earthenware jug.

[Ed Stern is on BlueSky @EdStern]

Well that escalated steadily for four years.

[alexandra @juvenalia]

@akela_lacy Nazis gonna Naz.

[alexandra @juvenalia]

Is it just me or does this seem like a joke I would make every day?

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Good morning! Today's #WordOfTheDay is 'dissociate' https://t.co/yfacgS4v21