Jess 🦇

[kora @melankittie]

walked past another person smoking weed in the dark in the woods whilst i was also smoking weed in the dark in the woods

[𝓚 . @k_holicn]

Girl to girl: please do NOT monitor your man. Do not look through his phone. Do not look through his things. Give that man complete freedom to do what he wants and see what happens. In the meantime, use all of that anxious energy towards anxiously building your own goals. Focus on a meal plan to hit your macros, focus on a workout routine, focus on a skin care routine, get another degree or advance your skills to make more money.

[Tifa Lockhart @FF7TifaLockhart]

Friendly reminder that this shit melted the computers they were rendering him on.

[gatorade @kadetXx]

watching this kinda clip makes you understand why designer & design engineer are two separate roles

[Zazzy 👄 @fw_zazzy]

i told myself I’d only smoke on special days... little did I know, surviving my 20s means everyday is a special day

[🎮𝙆𝙖𝙞𝙮𝙖🎮 @KaiKai2492]

Growing up if you were a straight guy seeing hot badass females was kinda something we always liked idk what happened are all of these guys gay or what

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

We’ve officially reached the “eat before you leave the house” stage of the economy.

[tummyache jones🇵🇸😷 @midsydHQ]

these creatures blow my mind. How r u this big off of just ANTS

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

[𝕄𝕒_ℤ𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕠 @Nomagugu_xo]

I told my mom one day “sometimes the best way to end a generational curse is to end the generation” she never asked me about grandkids again🤷🏽‍♀️😭

[🥷 @_iamhabeeb]

apparently the only place left without ads is a book

[draLly 🐾 @_NYVKU7]

Texas just made weed a felony after over 70% of voters voted to legalize it.That's what happens when incarceration rates go down and prisons start to lose money.

[ren ᶻ𝗓𐰁 @acorpseofagirl]

i love how everyone still calls twitter twitter

[kidi @kidibillion]

Texas: WEED IS BAD!!! Felony!!!!! PRISON!!!!
Also Texas: HERE’S A DRIVE THRU MARGARITA BAR IN A CONSTRUCTION ZONE!

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

i made the ladies at my post office laugh so hard today that a white woman in line told me it wasn’t “my job to make them laugh”, i told her “it’s not your job to make my day less enjoyable but i guess we’re both workin for free” then me and the two women laughed even harder. sometimes life is good.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

"Do you all mind if we cancel?"
Me;

[ɴᴀᴅɪ. @luvherout]

I saw a lady sharing that her man paid all the bills while she went to school and raised their kids. Now she's a registered nurse, and she's holding things down while he studies engineering. That's what partnership looks like.

[Ayoade Joshua Michael @AyoadeTheJoshua]

When someone asks me to do something I was already doing

[mika @mikasagrada]

Lista de fetiche:
- morar sozinho
- faculdade concluida
- estabilidade financeira
- viajar o mundo

[Ayoade Joshua Michael @AyoadeTheJoshua]

POV: me at 2 a.m. after saying I'm gonna wake up early: