Master Kuchi

we bought a zoo

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I don’t like to toot my own horn or nothing but I have several college degrees and work in one of the most diverse cities in the world. Why did my mom ask me if I knew what Hanukkah was?

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Trying to hold back sharing my fun facts about the history behind units of measurements with strangers at the local Yard House

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I'm supplementing duolingo Spanish by listening to my neighbors gossip because I'm nosy and resourceful

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Good morning! I'm turning up in the discount tire this fine am

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

When my mother told me Olivia Rodrigo had a new song she said "it's really good but someone really hurt that poor girl"

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

My dad caught me listening to music on my phone speaker. He said I should use the Bluetooth speaker. I couldn't tell him I was just listening to Lucky by Britany Spears on a loop.

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

When they said trump kept classified documents at his house I pictured like 3 folders in a desk drawer and not a whole episode of hoarders

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

NEVER ask me if I'm ok cause then I will immediately NOT be ok

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I remember when I was a kid my mom would read me stories at bedtime. At 26 bedtime is her reading me my lease agreement 🥱

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Saw my old secretary job posted online again and I can only assume the lady they picked over me fell through and I can't help but feel I manifested this. I conjured punishment for those who wronged me. I am a god.

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I dont care how against the government I am. I BETTER FUCKIN BE AT THE GAME when they sing the star spangled banner. It's my favorite part.

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Back in the day I feel like there were girls who hated Justin Bieber, loved Justin Bieber, and wanted to be Justin Bieber. I was the latter.

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I'm for serious when I say I had NOTHING to do with this but I keep getting ads from the algorithm for matcha and butthole bleaching cream and I just wanna know why

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Sesame is Asians' revenge on white people for adding milk and cream to every dish

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

If you see me nostrils deep in the sparkling cinnamon air freshener mind your business

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Thanks @taylorswift13 for spending 2,697 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to Anti-Hero. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/0RhEPXicGc

Another year in the top 2% of listeners lmao I love ma gurl

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

I'm just saying I get why Arya saw some random person do dumb shit in front of her once and she was like "welp new name to my hit list"

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

The way Christina Perri had an ABSOLUTE chokehold on us in 2011 with A Thousand Years just brings back all the trauma I had during that period even 10+ years later

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

What level of local are you when you start recognizing transients?

[Master Kuchi @k3yku]

Being on vacation with my dad is just Roman Holiday playing on repeat as we sprint through the city