kaylee

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

when the D.A.R.E. program came to my elementary school, they told us that every time you smoke weed one memory gets erased. and even as a kid that was appealing to me

[c a r r i e @discountgourds]

did my dog tweet this

[Loky @lokymann]

shutting the fuck up. im not even joking either.

[✭ 🅑🅤🅑🅑🅐 ✭ @BubbatheOG]

Why does it feel like the whole country is waiting for a STD test result?

[Rachel @RachelNoise]

I’m a strong independent woman, but like, against my will.

[litquidity @litcapital]

Staring at the eclipse?

No thanks, I’ll be staring at excel and creating shareholder value.

[Dona Juanita @MafiosoRo]

i miss when u could touch a tv and feel its fur

[Stream Don’t Leave Me On The Dancefloor @Neil_McNeil]

Their best 💙

[trash jones @jzux]

“you already told that story” oh so you hate recycling

[ave @GreediestGenius]

Apple Watch with a dress is crazy.. go be a lady .. Kim Possible.

[wiLL @willfulchaos]

actually she was a professor in cuntology at the university of servington and that’s one of her students taking notes for their motherlogical studies exam

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

once u start wearing adam sandler type clothes there's no going back