Krista Shepherd

Advertising creative by day, bartender by night. Full time baby butler. Wanna be comedian.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

This bar is so packed. I've been accidentally rubbing my butt against this guy for so long, I feel like it's time to meet his mother.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

@DazeandOrla We both share love for burmese IPAs, the Cure and great advertising.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

As a bartender, nothing scares me more than winding up on @shitlondonguinn

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Someone needs to do we didn’t start the fire but with events from 2020-2023

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

“Nails, hair, hips, heels” is just “head, shoulders, knees and toes” but for adults.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

@DaisyBard Wrong book, Daisy!

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

in college i was asked to be in a sorority date auction and i told them “hmmm i probably shouldn’t get on a stage in front of a bunch of white people and be sold for money...” and then they canceled the entire event

[Ryan Wallman @Dr_Draper]

New greetings for 2020...

I hope this email finds you something other than horribly depressed.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

@DaisyBard That’s so stupid I love it.

[The Comedy Store, Manchester @ComedyStoreMCR]

A @McDonalds worker collecting filling for their apple pies.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Here’s some meal ideas for those who’d like to induce depression.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

@LorrieHartshorn You should send her another email saying “oh and I forgot to mention, and this is probably my best advice: say thank you to those who try to help you. Because the industry is small, we talk to each other and we don’t tolerate rudeness.”

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Got the last spot on @funnywomen comedy crash course! So exciting.

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

@Dr_Draper What ad was that?

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Lol, same

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Boyfriend after dinner: I'm so full. How are you still eating cake?!?
Me: Easy, I stop eating at 7pm, so I have to eat everything before that. It's called FASTING.

[♛ Bella ♛ @rauhling_bizzle]

IT TOOK ALL 50 STATES, THE AMISH, KPOP STANS, 13 OTHER COUNTRIES, WITCHES, ANONYMOUS, THE LGBT COMMUNITY, CELEBRITIES, STAN TWITTER, PEOPLE OF COLOR, WHITE ALLIES & BATMAN TO GET 2ND DEGREE MURDER AND THE THREE COPS ARRESTED AND WE HAD THE PRESIDENT & MILITARY AGAINST US, MY GOD

[Krista Shepherd @k_shepherd_]

Funny how advertising people can make ANY crisis about themselves.