kristin swensen

loves dogs

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Max is reading the Wikipedia page on Brown. The color.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

I’m at the “how many tiny pieces of paper will I prevent my baby from choking on today” stage of Baby.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Explaining my job to other people is weird. Like what am I supposed to say…. “Well today I painted a banana on a clock and got a dog to ride a Segway?”

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Absolutely loving all the jackhammers, earth movers and pressure washers going off mere inches from the nursery window at exactly nap time every day.
I’m fine everything’s fine.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Being a mom is really cool, but like, can anyone tell me when I get to take a shower?

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Anyone else think about how different their life would be if they just had a garage?

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Happy Mother’s Day to the man outside my hotel room window performing Sublimes entire catalog.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Nap time was 8 minutes long so this afternoon is about to get SPICY

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

“The house isn’t clean enough” says man who never cleans to woman who does clean.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

I can’t stop buying baby clothes. Cute spiraling.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

@lightsandcolors No that’s the drunk drivers and dodge ram license plate. And they are indeed statistically correlated.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

My hot take on the new black license plate is that while the design is flawless, you’re announcing yourself as an asshole.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

I saw a neighborhood dog I love (but HARDLY know) walking past and thrust the baby into max’s arms and RAN outside to pet it.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Back to fitting into all my pre pregnancy clothes, yet shopping with my mother still yields size XL picks for me.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Max needs to man up and face the facts. the socks he has worn for the last three days cannot be worn for a fourth day. I will do him a grand service by moving them from the floor to his dirty clothes basket.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Completely normal looking man buying just one carrot in the self checkout at Whole Foods at 330pm just made me re think reality.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Unlocked new level of Momness when BB and I walked into an Old Navy yesterday and I truly felt like I was in paradise

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

“cut me some slack” says the man who does the absolute bare minimum

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

Always surprised at who has me on their “close friends” share lists. Like my coworker from 15 years ago’s ex wife.. yes, show me that personal content, I’m truly honored.

[kristin swensen @k_tron]

On nights I don’t make dinner for max he will pick one random thing in the fridge and eat it. Last night it was a whole box of lettuce. Tonight, he’s cooking JUST the thing of mushrooms. mushroom dinner.