6 YEARS OF SOBRIETY TODAY…but the truth is, I tasted alcohol 2 months ago. I haven’t told anyone this story…but last night while praying, God told me to share this + set myself free from the secret I’ve been keeping. I was at a funeral for a dear friend of mine who passed away, he was so loved + we miss him everyday. There was a Monster Energy fridge at the gathering, I opened it + grabbed the first one I saw. I took 3 sips before my friend (thank God for @rook419 ) pointed out it was a hard monster drink, which means it contained alcohol. I had no idea + immediately threw it down + began to have a full on panic attack. ALL this work + discipline felt taken from me in that moment. I spent the following month n a half pretty depressed about it…sobriety got harder after that day + thoughts about really throwing it all away started to creep in…why not just go all out? Why not go on a bender? I was fighting this battle in silence. I didn’t wanna get out of bed because I knew the urge to use would start screaming at me. I needed help. Instead of relapsing i decided to go get the help I needed. The sober community is so powerful. I started attending + eventually speaking at meetings again (sometimes forced, cuz they just know when you’re hiding in the back trying not to open up, grateful for those days). Today, I am forgiving myself. Not just for the slip up that was a complete accident, but for all the times I’ve let myself or others down in different ways too.
I AM 6 YEARS SOBER. On May 11th, 2019 I was given a second lease on life. I didn’t die for a reason. I have a purpose + I will proudly share my story to hopefully inspire others. I want to live. I want to grow old. I want to make art. I want to be a good son, brother, and friend. I want to be a dad. Lately I’ve felt like I’m outgrowing certain things I’ve always loved + that’s okay! I feel a new start coming for me + I am excited. It makes sense that my anniversary lands on Mother’s Day this year because without my mom’s + second mom’s (my sister) daily support who knows where I would’ve been on this very day. Never be a prisoner of your past, it was a lesson not a life sentence. Life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself. You can overcome anything my friends. Love you all forever.
I can’t sleep so I’m going to rant about how lucky I am to have yall in my life.
I’ve been doing this for more than half my life. To be an active artist in this day + age + be able to say that is insane. I know how lucky I am. I could’ve had a few year run + been forgotten…if that happened I would’ve still been mind blown that anyone ever listened…BUT I’m able to tour + make albums + continue to meet new people everyday. I have 2 songs on the radio right now! I have a full band on stage with me + I’m finally playing guitar on some songs like I’ve always wanted to. I’m playing old songs on this tour, some are 15 years old, + people are screaming the words. My sister is my tour manager + my mom is proud of me…if my pops was still here he would be driving the bus. THANK YOU for giving me this life. I am happy to be here.