i don't think people really understand that there is no coming back from certain things. Some damage does not get undone, and once it changes how you see someone, that's it. Not everything deserves a second chance, no matter how sorry they are.
Stop getting so emotionally attached and enjoy experiences with a person. Be friends. Be a moment in time. Be a memory. You don't have to fall madly in love with everyone who comes your way. Just enjoy their presence for your moment together.
Cooking for yourself is where you find out if you actually give a shit about your own life. because nobody is watching, nobody will know, nobody will thank you, and it still takes time and attention. and if you cannot do this one small thing for yourself, then everything else you claim is probably a lie
I think one of the most heartfelt experiences in life is discovering that someone genuinely enjoys your presence. Not what you provide, Not your accomplishments. Just you, your thoughts, your energy, your existence.