Kabrie

you're welcome

[Kabrie @kabrie]

“Row row row your boat gently down the stream.. Maryland Maryland Maryland Maryland life is but a dream”
#shitjaimesays

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Primm’s new thing is to push out a fart and laugh. #daddysgirl @JTacoSmasher

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Update: he came home, looked around and passively told me I need to “slow my roll.” But I know he secretly likes it because it looks SO good😊

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Jaime’s gone. Primm and I are quarantining. I’m gonna do all the house projects/painting he would never let me do. Nobody snitch.

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Petition to get Netflix to wait longer before judging me

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@JTacoSmasher I feel like a lot of these are for people without a baby🙃

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Who tf is Claire crawley? I’m so bummed.

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@ComplexHormones She considered it more than usual🤷🏼‍♀️

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Jaime just promised Primm the rest of his beer if she could crawl to it.

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@blaannccaaa Or a nice breast feeding area, game changer!!

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@JTacoSmasher get on the cute shit!

[NancyGza @glamourbynancy]

When your not old enough to get on a roller coaster 🎢👨‍👧💓

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Today I told my dad that sometimes I understand where the Democratic Party is coming from, and he told me that I am what’s killing our country. So I think we’re beginning to see eye to eye😂

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Me surprised and slightly turned on: did you do the laundry?!
Jaime: I washed my jerseys
🙃

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@ComplexHormones

[Demi Burnett @demi_burnett]

What about all the penguin friends we had on club penguin?? Did those friendships mean nothing?? I miss being bullied by internet trolls hiding behind neon-colored penguins.. those were the days

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Oh my god Jen Aniston is in a freaking time machine I swear

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@ComplexHormones I. Am. Dying.

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Currently picking Jaime’s beard hairs out of Primm’s chub neck rolls😂

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@mattw6682 I just had to dig so deep into your twitter to find the beginning of this paravicinis monologue. And I feel like a more complete person now that I know what it takes to make the cut

[Kabrie @kabrie]

@JTacoSmasher 😂😂

[Kabrie @kabrie]

Me: oh my gosh as soon as this baby falls asleep I have so much I need to get done
Also me when she finally falls asleep: sits on phone for an hour
Me when she wakes up: f*ck go back to sleep
Repeat.