katscratchkaleb

Follow me for seven years bad luck

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

Get a tattoo from me.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

Fucking animals

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

The guy at Qdoba told me I looked hard as fuck and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

I’ve come to the conclusion that tattoos hurt less when your life sucks

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

I look fucking weird, bro

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

If you wear these, shut the fuck up.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

I went through so much effort to steal this fucking sign in broad daylight out of a farmers front yard. And I didn’t even repent.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

If you could turn a crackhead’s pet dog into a person would they say “get me the fuck outta here!” Or would they try to sell me their box television from 1996?

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

If I was asked to rank my favorite things about the state of Missouri the scent of cow shit would place higher than the people here.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

@shitkatt I got you!

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

You guys ever hear about that dude who ate a whole ass airplane?

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

Dream chasing is fucking hard, man.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

“Hmm I wonder if this bed tastes as good as it feels?”
My dog every time I buy him a new bed

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

When you had no idea that your tattoos were permanent until a boomer decides to tell you

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

It’s becoming physically painful for me to continue waking up in fucking Missouri.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

@J_W_Hamer The uncultured 🙄

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

Someone told me a couple weeks ago that I seemed like the kind of guy who really enjoys canned pineapple and I’m still trying to decide how to take that comment.

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

If you’re being eaten by cannibals and they take a bite of you and gag/spit it out. Would you be relieved? Or would you be offended? 🤔

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

They were right though

[katscratchkaleb @kaleb_crane]

Them: Hey are you tattooing at the shop today?
Me: Not today
Then: Want to tattoo at my house?
Me: I can’t think of really anything I’d want to do less than that.