I think this comes from my past. I constantly feel like Im behind on something because of all the years I lost to addiction. What that “something” is, I don’t know. I’ll never know what it is or what it even looks like. If someone could show me I’d probably be disappointed anyway
I get into fistfights with myself regularly. The upside is, I always win.
I’ve never been a competitive person—except with myself. I’m never satisfied, always pushing myself to places I wouldn’t push anyone else.