what years of passive suicidality does to your brain
i can't do it -> i will kms
i don't know what to do -> i will kms
im scared -> i will kms
this is hard -> i will kms
im sad -> i will kms
Passive suicidal ideation is when you stop imagining your future, stop making plans, and quietly accept the possibility of not being here someday. you still laugh, work, and answer messages, but deep down, you struggle to find a reason to care whether tomorrow ever comes.
i wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you